The man, the films, those blondes. Free DVD collection starting this Sunday

I’ve always been pretty middle of the road, politically speaking. But whenever Gordon Brown deigns to call the next election, I’m voting Socialist Worker’s Party. Eight hours on a plane has turned me into a Marxist.
Not just any plane. I’ve just stepped off the first commercial flight of the A380 superjumbo, the largest passenger aircraft ever built. Yes, it’s impressive: taller than five double-decker buses, wider than a football pitch, 37 times the length of Peter Crouch in his socks, that sort of thing. And yes, it’s an amazing piece of engineering, a staggering technical achievement: but it’s also the best advert for Bolshevism since the tsar said, “Stuff that Lenin chap, let’s build another palace.”
Never has the gap between the haves and the have-nots of the air been more evident. At the front of the plane (business is on the top level, the “super-first” Suites at the front of main deck, economy at the back on both levels), the elite have unparalleled luxury and space. Further back, the proletariat have to... well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’ve just spent eight hours in the cheap seats: here’s a blow-by-blow account.
Takeoff: it just shouldn’t. It doesn’t seem credible that something this size should get into the air at all. Our takeoff weight today was 468 tonnes, which is the equivalent of 12 very surprised sperm whales. And when it finally comes, 50 minutes after we started boarding today’s 455 passengers (they’ll need to speed that up a touch), takeoff is a revelation.
Where other planes crank up the engines to a mighty howl and go for a death-or-glory charge to get airborne, the A380 feels more like an inter-city train leaving a station: silent, gentle, almost imperceptible. There’s a moment of anxiety when the lack of any roar, or bumping, makes you think something is terribly wrong. Then finally, after 40 seconds of smooth, quiet acceleration, this unlikely behemoth leaves the ground with a whisper and drifts quietly into the skies as if it were the most natural thing in the world. After a moment’s collective sigh, everyone breaks into applause. Taking to the air with the A380 does, genuinely, feel like a miracle.
One hour in: as well as kind, civilised folk who’ve bid in a charity auction to be on the first A380 flight, the plane is full of rude, selfish, jostling journalists like me, and the moment the seat-belt sign is turned off, it’s the cue for all of us to leap to our feet and interview mercilessly anyone within notebook distance. We do tend to make a bit of noise, but I didn’t realise we’d actually drown out the engines. That’s how quiet this plane is. In the momentary lulls between hacks barking questions, you can hear the gentle conversations of real people four rows back.
Two hours in: journalistic frenzy over, time for lunch. It’s terrific, produced by a couple of celebrity chefs I’ve never heard of, but will look out for in future. Sam Leong’s fillet of bass with fungi is the best economy-class food I’ve ever had on an airline.
Three hours in: distractions done with, there’s time to take in the surroundings. And when I do, a question occurs. If this is really the most luxurious plane ever built, why am I still shoehorned into a 32in seat?
Here, I have a confession to make. Last week, when the press were first allowed to see the inside of this plane at the Airbus factory, I – along with every journalist there – got a bit overexcited about the double beds in first and the huge business-class seats; all newer, bigger and swisher than anything we’d seen before. As a result, we didn’t spend too much time in the ominously familiar-looking economy area. A sin of omission, for which the hour of judgment has just come. Or rather hours: I’ve got five more to go.
Some passengers say the economy area is much lighter and airier than we’re used to. I don’t see it – though the large windows do provide a better view. The seat is pretty comfortable... for cattle class. My knees don’t touch the seat in front, and it’s an inch or so wider than a standard 747 equivalent. But it’s still not the ideal place to spend eight hours or more of your life, especially when you know that the real high rollers are just a few feet away, in the Suites. Time to see how the other half live...
Four hours in: the airline people are standing close guard on the curtain that separates economy from first, but for an instant they take their eyes off it, and bingo: an advance party of journalists plunges through the gap.
It’s another world. Hushed, spacious, all the seats are in cabins a little like those you’d find on a cruise ship, although the partitions only reach to about eye level. The champagne flows incessantly, and there are normally unobtainable bottles of Château Cos d’Estournel 1982 being poured. In a few of the 12 elite suites, the inhabitants have had their flat beds made up, and sprawl languorously under Givenchy duvets in front of their 23in TVs. Nobody sleeps, though. Having paid up to £25,000 at auction for a ticket, they want to savour every minute.
Upstairs, the improvement in business class, with its colossal 34in-wide seats, is arguably even greater. With just four abreast as opposed to economy’s 10, it feels both communal and spacious. The lucky ones try hard not to look smug. I try hard not to be jealous. We all fail. Five hours in: back in the cheap seats, I ruminate on what might have been. When we were shown the first A380 back in 2003, we were promised the following: boutiques, self-service restaurants, duty-free shops, children’s play areas, casinos, pubs, libraries, gyms (with treadmills to prevent DVT), showers, 18-hole golf courses. (Okay, I made the last one up, but it was going that way.) So why am I sitting here, unexercised, unshowered and unshopped, with the nearest pub in the outback five miles down? Why do we only have a slightly better version of what every long-haul holidaymaker knows and loathes – rank upon rank of sardine-tin seats, with no room to circulate or socialise? Only one conclusion: they were having us on.
Aviation enthusiasts make up the bulk of the clientele today, and they’re determined to enjoy themselves, so I’m in a disgruntled minority (see below). And, to be fair to Singapore Airlines, they never made any of those extravagant claims anyway. But right now I don’t want to be fair. This feels like a missed opportunity.
Six hours in: the real test of a long-haul seat is: Can you sleep in it? I try for 40 winks. Not a chance. The buzz all around means it’s not a fair trial, but I suspect that even on a calmer flight, it wouldn’t be easy. One bonus point: that dried-out, sinusy feeling is noticeably absent. Higher pressurisation is apparently the reason. Seven hours in: time to test the much-vaunted entertainment system. In a stab at egalitarianism, everybody gets the same stuff (economy has a smaller screen, but it’s still a healthy 10+ inches). It’s cracking: 100 on-demand films, 150 TV programmes, 700 CDs. New films, too. There are USB ports and laptop power to every seat. No internet access, though it might come.
Eight hours in: we’re preparing to land, so I’ll sum up. If you’re planning a trip down under when the plane starts flying from London next spring, should you choose an A380? Yes. It’s fabulous in first and business, a touch more comfy than we’re used to at the back. Revolutionary? No – not for the huddled masses, anyway. Vive la révolution. Business class
Business class
Andy Odgers, 39, and Hazel Watt, 43, bagged seats together in business class. Here they are sitting in just one of them. “It’s fantastic, far better than any business class I’ve seen in a 747,” said Andy, “right down to the picture quality on the big TV screen.” The couple, from Richmond in Surrey, paid US$14,200 (£6,922) for the trip, but reckoned it was worth it. “My parents are in Sydney,” said Andy, “and they don’t know anything about us being on this flight. We’re just going to walk into their hotel and surprise them. They’ll be so jealous.” “It’s better than a lot of first-class seats,” said Hazel. “You could argue it’s a bit hot, but it’s the best flight I’ve ever had.”
First class
Julian Hayward, 38, paid top dollar for two seats on the inaugural A380 flight – literally: the one-way trip in the first-class Singapore Suites for himself and a friend set Julian back US$100,380 (£48,936). The entrepreneur invited The Sunday Times in for a cosy chat in his bijou suite. Was it worth it? “Absolutely – all the money goes to charity, so it’s ending up in the right place. And this flight really is a piece of history, the first outing for the biggest plane ever built.” Would he do it again? “Perhaps not for quite so much money! But yes, the standard is something you won’t find elsewhere. I’m very impressed by their wine list. Would you care for a glass?”
Economy class
Richard Killip, 45, bought three tickets for the economy cabin of the A380, and brought along his daughters, Sophie, 12, and Ellie, 10. All three – who hail from Liverpool, but now live in Singapore – loved the flight. “The most impressive thing was the takeoff,” said Richard. “It was so quiet, it was almost spooky.” “I’ve already shown off a little to my schoolfriends,” admits Sophie. “They’re all dead jealous that I’m on the first flight!” Who else will fly the A380?
- PLENTY MORE airlines are queuing up to get the biggest passenger plane on earth. But will they go where you want to fly? When will they start? And – crucially – what will the experience be like on board? Anxious to keep a commercial advantage, most are being cagey with the details. But here’s what we know so far...
QANTAS
Start date: August 2008
Routes: “The US and the UK,” says the airline – which is expected to mean Sydney to London (via Singapore or Hong Kong), plus direct flights from Australia to Los Angeles.
What’s on board?Suites in first class, though not as enclosed as Singapore’s cabins, and no double beds as yet. Lounge with sofas in business. Four self-service bars in economy, and seats by Recaro (which makes seats for Aston Martin). Plus internet access for all.
EMIRATES
Start date:August 2008
Routes:Dubai-London looks certain. Dubai to New York, Australia and India also likely.
What’s on board?Top secret, but there are clues. The airline is installing first-class suites with doors on its fleet of 777s, with styling based on the Orient-Express train, and is expected to go even more luxurious with its A380s – president Tim Clark said: “You ain’t seen nothing yet.” But on flights to India, Emirates will cram in 644 passengers.
AIR FRANCE
Start date:spring 2009
Routes:Paris to New York and Japan.
What’s on board?Questions bring nothing more than a Gallic shrug.
LUFTHANSA
Start date:summer 2009
Routes:20 being considered, from Frankfurt to Asia and North America.
What’s on board?A complete redesign for all three areas, but no details as yet.
BRITISH AIRWAYS
Start date:2012
Routes:Los Angeles, Singapore, Hong Kong and Johannesburg are likely to be first. New York “would be considered if customer demand were strong enough”.
What’s on board?BA only ordered the planes a month ago, so they haven’t decided yet. Don’t expect many gimmicks, though – for that, look to...
VIRGIN ATLANTIC
Start date:2013
Routes:Los Angeles, Dubai.
What’s on board?More double beds for sure, plus a casino – chairman Richard Branson says: “There’ll be two ways to get lucky on our A380s.”
Showers and gyms have been mentioned too.
Search for a holiday
Can't wait for my first flight on the A380. BTW Showers are extremely impractical. 1 Litre of Water weighs 1 Kilo. How many extra Kg will this beast have to carry to shower 450 sweaty souls? Yes I know it will be filtered and re-used, like the air on board but be honest, it ain't gonna happen is it?
Brian Thistle, Glasgow, Scotland
The idea of showers, casino and "suites" is all nice but somewhat unrealistic. The shower concept is the only new idea that I've heard. If we take a trip in time 40 years ago - suites, bars and casino's were all talked about with the Boeing 747. I know Virgin installed a lounge/bar-like area in it's Business/1st Class section of it's 747's. Unfortunately, the only way for this aircraft to be successful is if it's turned into a cattle car. Unless the price of the "suites" come in-line with the normal price of 1st class ticket - no one is going to spend $30,000. People who would spend that much are the same people who have private planes.
I think Boeing was right with it's Dreamliner (787). Smaller aircraft that can fly from Nashville to Tokyo or London to Madrid. It's 200/250 seats is big enough to be profitable in long distance routes and fuel efficient for smaller routes. Not that Airbus/EADS will lose any money if the A380 fails - the Gov't's will be stuck with the bill.
Mike Daly, Hackettstown, USA/New Jersey
I hope British Airways make it worth ordering the A380 by adding things like showers, first class suites and what Singapore Airlines have added or better.
Emirates announced that they are adding showers in First Class and the first flight will be Dubai-New York. Does the A380 have the range for it?
Joe Crammond, Sittingbourne, Kent
Richard Branson is my idol.
Nick, Sydney, Aus
So the Europeans built the world's fastest (successful) passenger aircraft and now the world's largest. Not everything's made in China, yet.
G. Bradley, Exeter, UK
Depending on how you measure it (wingspan, nose-to-tail length, etc...), the A380 is of a comparable size to:
Boeing 747-800 (not the normal Boeing 747 !)
Hercules H-4 (Spruce Goose)
Antonov 225
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Giant_planes_comparison.svg
David Johnson, London,
About time someone mentioned the cheap seats, 99% of us will never travel in first and probably never in buisness either. I would quite happily pay 10% more for 10% more legroom, ie 35inches and a slightly better seat but I assume the airlines dont want to tempt any of the buisness class paying customers to move down to the cheap seats, got to keep the prols as uncomfortable as possible on a long flight. As for complaining about an 8 hr flight, how about the nearly 14hr flight from Singapore to London? Most punters get of that flight with a couple of hours on the rack needed to fix the back. ps, I would rather do it by ship the slow way but they dont exist any more.
Steve99, London, UK
Airlines are overwhelmingly buying the Boeing Dreamliner. Just look at the sales stats. You'd think the French would have had Airbus put a raised deck on it or something for style. Airbus is just that, a bus in the air. Bigger is not always better.
P.S. In the old days, EL AL would use a C5A cargo plane without changing the troop seats if they could get away with it, but at least you always end up safe and in one piece.
Stewart, Lafayette, LA USA
The airlines aren't going to buy the A380 to make air travel more comfortable for cattle class travellers, they're doing it because the economies of scale work much better, especially with oil heading into the wide blue yonder.
On a press trip to Airbus three years ago where we shown the mock-up of the A380, I asked the question of every Airbus official I met: "Yes, it's very pretty, wah-wah, but how many people can it carry, assuming the airlines don't install the bars, gyms, casinos, palm-fringed beaches, movie theatres ...?"
Funnily enough, no-one wanted to answer that. Later, on another press trip, where we actually saw the thing fly, one Airbus manager said to me, "It could take 900. People."
Will Tapper, Johannesburg, South Africa
Is it bigger than the Spruce Goose?
Brian Hurley, Port Kembla, N.S.W. Australia
I have never heard anything so hilarious in my career.
A pool table on a flight?
You are having a laugh mate.
haha. stay off the heart tablets.
Justin, Brussels, Belgium
Airbus said the airlines were allowed to put in the bars and all those other fancy stuff, but that doesn't mean the airlines are gonna listen to Airbus, if you don't have enough legroom, blame that on the Airline not the plane, the plane can do what Airbus promised, but it just up to the Airlines to do what they want with it.
Bryan, Boston, Massacusetts, USA
Firstly, congratulations to Airbus for designing and building such a gigantic flying machine. Now, we are all proud to be Europeans.
Secondly, thanks to the 4 European countries, FRANCE, SPAIN, GERMANY & BRITAIN for making this aircraft possible.
I don't mind how the airlines configure their seatings on the aircrafts as long as it's comfortable.
A pool table would be a great idea on board.
Ben, Northolt, Middlesex
You forgot El AL . Knowing their record the Whats on Board will be something like 1200 seats
stan, Haifa ,
With all the operating cost savings, why don't these operators reduce the price. We need budget airlines flying long haul, and give the big airlines some competition. If the big airlines can make money with the budget airlines on short haul, it only shows there is profit margins to be reduced.
Sam, Birmingham,
Great article. Thanks for the review of the inaugural flight.
BTW, didn't Virgin cancel their orders when the delay was announced?
Paying $ 100,000 for two tickets is bonkers.
Alex deR, Toronto, ON, CANADA
"the biggest plane ever built"
Khmm... How about Ukrainian AN-224?
http://www.aerospaceweb.org/question/design/q0188.shtml
Alex, Dana Point, CA, USA
Hmmmmmm hedonism on a dying planet....
How interesting.
If they are so smart for the plague infested carbon spewing fast traveler, how come the 380 ain't a high speed modern sailing ship?
Shane Sen of Hans, Melbourne, Australia Victoria