I left you – or you left me – with high hopes for the snail traps. The first results were as bewildering as they were disappointing. A week later, all four plastic cups, buried with various beers and ciders within, had been pulled up. Three lay empty on their sides, and one – the Dorset Badger Best, the highest quality of the lot – had disappeared altogether. The children denied responsibility. So did the adults. I couldn’t ask the chickens, but they do wander around the vegetable patch pecking at things, so I had my suspicions.

I tried again: three cups only this time. The first, the Newcastle Brown Ale, was pulled up again, exactly the same as before. The second cup, an Irish cider, was a little reduced after three days, with a bit of mud swimming around in it, and nothing else to report. But the third – triumph! A Budweiser, it was still in place, if chock-full of mud – smelly, beery and drying – and right at the bottom lay: one dead snail.

It was success of a sort – relatively speaking. But I think, in honesty, we have to admit that a single snail from two weeks’ work, seven bottles and £14, is a poor result. I am fascinated to know, though, who has been pulling them up. I have heard mention of rats and foxes. I still fancy the chickens.

Meanwhile, I have ordered nematodes, an organic slug exploder, and a product called Growing Success from the Online Gardener (www.theonlinegardener.com). It claims to be safe for children and pets; nothing about birds, though. And although people have told me, “Oh yeah, that stuff doesn’t work,” I fight on. In the meantime, if anyone sees a drunk chicken carrying a cup with Badger Best scrawled on the side, I’d be ever so pleased to know.

SARAH WAIN'S EXPERT ADVICE

– There are various organic methods at the charity Garden Organic (www.gardenorganic.org.uk), while Banish Slugs by Jeremy Stratton (Impact, £3.99) is also worth a look. Slugs and snails will travel surprising distances to wreak havoc on your garden, so look further afield to clean up areas where they may breed, and keep your garden free of debris which might provide mollusc accommodation. Night-time patrols with a torch will also reveal the numbers you have to deal with – not so easy on an allotment, however. Vigilance is key.

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