There are 400 police chases every year in Los Angeles, and here everything stops during a police pursuit. People will watch one for three, four hours on the TV. It’s basically the same chase every day and they all end the same way: the person runs out of gas, they run out, fall on the ground and the cops come and handcuff them. It’s never that exciting but for some reason people think it is. OJ Simpson was the first to make them popular and now it’s become a local phenomenon. The greatest was the guy who stole the tank in San Diego, crushing road signs and vehicles before being stopped. I guess it makes the whole job of being a traffic cop look exciting.

Historically, there’s been quite a difference in police cars, at least here in the States. You always had a couple of types: the slowest was almost certainly the three-wheeled Harley-Davidson Servi-Car. It was technically a motorbike but they called it a car. They used those in the Fifties and early Sixties, mostly for ticket writing and downtown duties like that. They were powered by a flathead V-twin. You didn’t have too much trouble outrunning them!

Then police forces would have one or two high performance cars, like the chief’s car. A lot of them were six-cylinder Fords or the small V8 Fords with a stick shift, no radio, no air-con, no nothing. The most feared police cars, at least when I was a kid, were the ones the “Staties” had. By Staties I mean the Massachusetts state troopers.

They usually ran big Dodges, like the Polara. It had the big 440 (cubic-inch) motor in it and it ran 145mph. In the Sixties and early Seventies it was the fastest police car. Actually, the fastest of almost any American car, with the exception perhaps of the 427 Corvette.

In those days the cops had a two-way radio, a shotgun and sidearm. There would be some flares in the trunk, but that was it. It’s not like today where they carry so much equipment, which makes the cars much more cumbersome. And these Polaras were big, fast cars and pretty hairy to drive. The early ones were mostly drum brakes all the way around. Not much stopping power, then. The rule of thumb was, when the cop got out of the car to come after you, since they had no air-conditioning, if he was all sweaty and you could see the stain on his shirt, you were getting a ticket. Because he’d just worked way too hard to catch you.

When we were kids, if you were stopped by a cop in an air-conditioned car, he would usually just say: “Slow down, take it easy, son.” But when they had to work, forget it. Remember, a lot of these cars had no power steering, no power brakes. It really was, and I know this sounds terribly sexist today, just a man’s car. They really were he-man cars. It took a lot of heft and weight to fling them around. They had the big push bar on the front and they were black and white; they looked pretty macho.

There was a TV show here in America called Highway Patrol, which starred Broderick Crawford. The show always started with this very dramatic music and a voiceover saying: “When the laws of any state are broken, a group of trained men go into action. Sometimes they’re called the militia. Sometimes they’re called the state police. We call them the highway patrol!” And then more dramatic music.

Then the horns would blow and big, fat Crawford would pull up in a 55 Buick and he would slide it in the dirt. And even though it was on dirt you’d hear “screeee”, as the tyres screeched. And he would always pick up the two-way radio and bark something like: “We’ll have this town locked up so tight, a kiddie car couldn’t get through it!”

And of course the criminals are always named Legs Somebody or Mugsy. It was a half-hour cop show that always involved a chase. And if you watch some of the early episodes you get to see a young Clint Eastwood playing a punk trying to outrun Crawford and the highway patrol, which of course nobody could do.

In those days the cop actually had to clock you and had something called a telltale speedometer to give him the evidence necessary to pull you over. I’ve got a 1931 Henderson four-cylinder motorcycle that was a police pursuit bike. What happened was the officer would set the speedometer to zero and when he chased you there were two needles, a red needle and a white needle. They would sweep concurrently, equally. The red needle would stay at the highest speed needed to catch you. So consequently, if you were going 80, the officer would pull you over and you would deny you were going 80. Then he would take you over to his bike and show you the red needle on 80, and that would be his proof.

Most cops, then and now, are pretty good. If you’re not drunk and you’re not belligerent, they’ll cut you a deal. Maybe they’ll knock off a few miles per hour or send you to traffic school or something.

I’ve never had a cop car, so having Dodge’s new Charger police car for a few days has been a hoot. It’s quite fun driving this around because it’s fun to watch other people. On the freeway, if you’re going 70, suddenly everyone around you is doing 65, even though it says Dodge City Police on the side and has a big sign saying “Out of service”. Nobody actually reads the badge on the car. Then they spot me in it and they wave, or give me the finger.

It drives really nicely. It’s tight and feels stable. In the early days, police cars would just have a heavy-duty package. Basically, the same car with heavier springs, stiffer shocks and better brakes.

In the late Sixties, early Seventies, a police cruiser and their civilian equivalent might have got a motor that would have an exemption sticker on it which meant it wasn’t subject to smog restrictions because it had a bigger cam or something like that. So you got an unstrangled version of the ordinary motor.

When my dad bought his Ford Galaxie, unbeknown to him I ordered the police pursuit package with the bigger motor, bigger radiator and no mufflers. When my dad went to pick up the car he started it and it went: “Urrnnghaaa! Urrnghaaa!” And my dad goes: “There’s no muffler! There’s no goddamn muffler on this car!” And they say: “But Mr Leno, you ordered the ‘delete muffler’ pack on your order.” And he says: “Why would I not want my muffler?”

“But Mr Leno, here’s your order. Muffler delete.” My father was so furious.

When we were kids and you bought junk cars out of the junkyard you always tried to buy ex-police because you knew you were getting a big motor. It might be worn out but you could fix that. When we were kids, for $500 you could get a car with a black body and white doors and no numbers or markings on it that would be only two years old with 280,000 miles on it. But they were fun. Just drive them around all day until you blew them up.

The new Charger isn’t as big as the old police cars. They were enormous and were based on the big Chrysler chassis that was in the Chrysler 300 and the New Yorker and all those. In fact I have just taken it to Burbank police station for the officers to check it over and the one comment most of the police had was that it was small. It looks small to them because if you’re carrying a couple of felons and a trunkful of gear you need something that’s a pretty good size. They liked the cupholders and places to stash doughnuts, though.

This one is a pretty good choice for a police car. The Ford Crown Victoria is an old platform and has been around for a long time. By comparison with the current Crown Vic, the Charger is compact, but that’s cars in general. It’s not small. The space inside is better used than a car 20 years old. Other ways have been used to make it more efficient. In the past, cars had the big, high lights up in the roof, which cut about 10-15mph off the thing. Now you have those low bars, which are pretty aerodynamic.

The Charger has got four-wheel disc brakes and handles and stops probably better that any police car in history. It’s just more of a balanced package. In the old days they would increase power to the engine by 75-100% and everything else, including brakes, would be increased by 10-15%.

European cars are not used in the States for police cruisers. But as far as European cars go, any of the big Mercs or Audis would be good. But you don’t really need four-wheel drive in California.

The handling of the Charger seemed pretty good. For a big American sedan it handled well. I think the Charger benefited from the union between Daimler and Chrysler. Obviously they picked up a few suspension tricks from Mercedes. It feels solid and the brakes seem impeccable. The acceleration seemed quite good too. I think it would be a great high-speed pursuit car. It was tempting to flick on the lights and siren.

Even without the light and “whoop whoop” on, it had the desired effect. After a while I sort of forgot I was driving something that looked like a police car. There was one guy across the street that looked sort of like a criminal and he didn’t actually look at the car. He didn’t make eye contact, which I thought was weird. I guess he thought it was a police car and I was a real cop.

You know, this could get addictive.

Vital statistics

Model Dodge Charger Police Package

Engine 5654cc, eight cylinders

Power 340bhp @ 5000rpm

Torque 390 lb ft @ 4000rpm

Transmission Five-speed automatic

CO2 n/a 0-60mph: 6sec 148mph

Acceleration

Top speed Price $26,930 (£13,423)

Rating ( no star if you’re a crook)

Verdict Put your hands in the air

Jeremy Clarkson is away