I am writing this in the Peter Pan cafe at Great Ormond Street hospital,
where my daughter had another bit of miraculous-seeming surgery last
Thursday. I haven’t been home to change yet and am wearing a quite heavily
bloodied dress and some sick in my hair. It’s the NHS’s 60th birthday this
weekend and I’d just like to take this opportunity to get down on my knees
and say thank you to the visionary spirit of Aneurin Bevan and to the heroic
staff of not just this most admirable of hospitals, but to NHS workers
everywhere, from the consultants to the cleaning ladies.
We are all familiar with the negatives when it comes to the health service,
but there isn’t a country on Earth that could hold a candle to the
overwhelming slew of positives. Every ward and outpatient clinic in this
building is stuffed with people, some of them still in nappies (and some
still in utero), whose lives have been saved or immeasurably improved by
underpaid, overworked, heroic men and women (all drowning in mountains of
paperwork, but that’s another story) who work insane hours and do
unbelievably emotionally demanding work, simply because they want to
alleviate pain and suffering.
The NHS remains the jewel in this country’s crown. We should all be bursting
with pride that it exists, let alone functions as well as it does.
Rightly or wrongly, I’ve always been of the “if they hit, hit them harder”
school. On the rare occasions (twice, as a teenager) when anyone has laid a
finger on me, I have punched them in the face.
I don’t believe in turning the other cheek when you are physically aggressed.
While never encouraging my two older children to get slap-happy for the
sheer fun of it, my line with them was always: “If someone hurts you for no
reason, hurt them back.”
I realise this isn’t terribly evolved and I wouldn’t expect my approach to
delight the baby Jesus, but there you go. People have a right to go about
their daily business without being randomly assaulted and I feel that
assailants ought to be made aware of the fact, preferably via their solar
plexus.
I still believe this in my heart of hearts. Unfortunately, my children no
longer do. I have had to revise my “eye for an eye” theory, because not
doing so would put them in danger. Over the past couple of years I have had
to make a U-turn: hand over the money. Hand over the mobile phone. Give them
what they want. Say as little as possible and for God’s sake none of your
smart backchat. Don’t hit back. Forget hitting harder: what we’re after now
is running faster. The words stick in my throat but I say them, over and
over again, and I know I’m right.
The stabbing last weekend of 16-year-old Ben Kinsella – the 17th teenager to
die of knife crime this year in London (an 18th was killed on Friday) –
proves that conclusively. The streets simply aren’t safe and we must all
become tremulous, cringing weeds if we are to have any chance of circulating
unmolested. I can’t tell you how furious this makes me. Like most Londoners,
I feel a kind of boiling indignation that I can’t put into words.
The greater question is, what are you supposed to do if you have teenage
chil-dren? They know to meekly hand over their money/phone/iPod, but that’s
the least of it. Kinsella – to pick one example at random: frankly, there is
an embarrassment of choice – was out with friends celebrating the end of
GCSEs. He was an A-grade pupil at Holloway school, one of those mixed
big-city comprehensives.
Nobody tried to mug him, as far as we know – he was stabbed 11 times for no
apparent reason (three people are in police custody, two aged 18 and one
aged 19). He was killed in Holloway, one of those areas of north London that
is also big and mixed; London, like many cities, being made up of little
middle-class patches edged with little rough ones, or vice versa.
MPs, the mayor and publishers live in Holloway and so do feral young men who
carry knives when they pop out for a drink. I expect this has something to
do with the fact that Kinsella’s death has been the sole topic of
conversation among middle-class London parents this past week: to be blunt,
we are painfully aware of the horrors of knife crime but it doesn’t often
happen on our patch.
This time it did. The comfort of distance is no longer present: nobody can
say: “Dreadful black-on-black crime,” or “Oh well, gangs.” There aren’t any
excuses or convenient patches of sand for our ostrich necks.
A few people I’ve spoken to have tried, rather desperately, to create one by
saying: “What was a 16-year-old doing out at 2am [the time of the attack]?”
The implication is that only useless parents don’t know what their kids are
up to in the middle of the night and that their own offspring would, of
course, be safely tucked up in bed.
Really? I wonder. Granted, not many people let their 16-year-olds roam the
streets at 2am, but Kinsella wasn’t just milling: he was at a party to
celebrate the end of exams. It’s true that 2am is pretty late, but then you
celebrate the end of GCSEs only once in your life. The party, which took
place in a respectable bar of the kind in which people celebrate their 50th
birthday, probably ended some time after midnight. Allow a bit of extra time
for postparty hanging out, plus a bit more for chat about who was going back
in what direction and how they’d get there and you hit 2am with no trouble.
Two days after Kinsella was murdered, my 15-year-old son asked whether he
could go to a gig in Camden Town – a similarly kind of mixed area to
Holloway. We were all feeling rather stressed because his four-year-old
sister was due to have surgery (see panel) and I thought that being out with
his mates would cheer him up and take his mind off the dangers of general
anaesthetics for kids with cardiac conditions, a topic he’d been brooding on
for several weeks.
So I said he could go, didn’t (for once) tell him when to be back and took
myself off to bed early – but not before noticing his phone lying forgotten
on the kitchen table.
My son, having had a long rein for some time now, behaved perfectly. My point
is that if you’re allowed to roam London pretty much as you please, stay out
relatively late, hang out with your mates and so on, none of these things
achieve the kind of thrilling, irresistible naughtiness that they do if you
have a sheltered upbringing; ergo they are seen as normal and children don’t
abuse their privileges – which is why my son, who could have stayed out all
night without me noticing, came back at 10.30pm and went to bed. The irony –
and the problem– is that these kinds of carefully thought out freedoms are
also doled out carelessly to children whose idea of a good night out is to
maim somebody.
What to do? Having done a giant turn-around on the “don’t hit people back”
issue, I refuse to perform another one on the “go out and have fun but keep
your eyes peeled” front. Caging your children for their own protection
doesn’t do anybody any good: it just gives up the streets to nutters.
I honestly don’t think there has been a more dangerous time to be an
overprotected teenager out on the streets: until the issue of knife crime is
prioritised and resolved, all of our children need to acquire serious street
smart know-how, pronto.
Educate your children, communicate with them, know where they are and trust
them. The happy ending isn’t guaranteed but the alternative – children kept
in gated communities, like fragile pensioners – is not an option in a sane
society.
india.knight@sunday-times.co.uk
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt through having a child with special needs, it is not to judge other people in a similar boat
Excellent article. We have as parents become, rightfully some might say, risk averse. I have two very young children and I won't let them out of my sight. But, when they are old enough that they can go out of my sight I will make sure they know how to use theirs and be fully aware of what's out ther
ivan jennings, Dublin,, Ireland
British and Wales law I know very little about. But I have read some Sharia law. Englishmen, stand firm for your laws and your culture. Do not fall into the trap of PC. 1.6 million muslims sould find it easy to learn and assimilate, if in fact they came to Britian without a hidden agenda.
H. D. Penn, Atlanta, GA, USA
I have read, with interest, the lead article in The Times of \monday 8th July 'A Conspiracy of Silence'. I quite agree with the sentiments and have written to my MP Jeremy Hunt with regard to this sorry state of affairs - how did we let this happen - we must end it.
Bridget Sheather, Hindhead, England
Frederick, London - I'll pass that on to a friend who, when recently misdiagnosed with Hodgkin's by a pricey US doc, confessed that his first thought was not "I might die" but "either I'll die or I'll be in debt for life". I compare his experience to many friends whose lives the NHS saved for free.
L, London,
Come on Love, bite the bullet. GTF out of UK has to be the smart money's preferred option. Nationalism, patriotism, you’re having a laugh, aren't you? Let's get serious. Britain’s going down, and no way can this be reversed within a democratic framework. And going down with the ship is for losers.
Andrew Milner, Karuizawa, Japan
I live in Spain, and here it is unheard of for middle class neighbourhoods, underground and overground train stations and shopping centers etc not to be guarded with armed guards from private security firms.. People suddenly aren't as "big" with their knives and burberry hats in front of this...
rob, Madrid,
"MPs, the mayor and publishers live in Holloway and so do feral young men who carry knives when they pop out for a drink. "
"feral young men"!
No wonder they feel alienated
David, Holloway,
Robin in Texas. My 76 year old father in law would be doing your hard time right now for carrying a pocket knife which he has done since he was a boy. The most harm he has ever done is to peel fruit with it or to cut away some string caught around his dogs foot. Im sure society will be safer !!
carol, Leicester, UK
I'm certainly not 'in the grip of knife fear', and the vast majority of people who are have been reading too many Daily Mail headlines.
Crime is down, it's been falling since unemployment started coming down from it's peak in the mid-eighties. And yet people are still scared to death by this hype
Owen, London, UK
Come on, India! Of course the streets are mean and dangerous. They always have been. 16 yr olds out til 2am to celebrate completing examinations? What are you thinking?
Your generation of parents (and I have 3 daughters your age who agree with me) have allowed parental permissiveness to create an age group of teenagers spoiled beyond recognition. What else do they do besides pass exams? That and having fun is the only ‘job’ they have. How often is the reward for passing GCSE’s a car? No more minding of siblings, passing newspapers, chores at home to fill in for working parents. We have taken any use or contribution to the family, let alone society, away from adolescence within two generations. We have drowned youthful energy, courage, enthusiasm, and capacity for hard work with excess. What a waste.
K. Keating
Co. Donegal
K. Keating, Co. Donegal, Ireland
India Middle class kids are still at risk from ferals. Out here in the boonies teens do not go out late that is a lax London habit .Parents whose kids have to live in gang run estates should NOT let their kids out to be drawn into gang and street culture. Hope your daughter feels better soon
Anne, Dorking, UK
has anyone noticed that it is serious when it is a middle class boy, but not so much if it is a girl, of any class?
Dr. J. Gokhale , Bangalore,
No, I haven't noticed that. What do you mean?
Marion Morrison, Cheltenham,
I'm not in the grip of knife fear. You are far, far more likely to die in a car accident. London is one of the safest places in the world - try Jo'burg or Rio after dusk if you don't believe me.
tony, rochester, uk
There might be guidelines but there are no guarantees fo security for middle class to be safe if we have allowed a margin of unsafe existence for some parts of society. Incidentally - has anyone noticed that it is serious when it is a middle class boy, but not so much if it is a girl, of any class?
Dr. J. Gokhale , Bangalore,
There might be guidelines but there are no guarantees of security for middle class if we have allowed a margin of unsafe existence for some parts of society. Incidentally - has anyone noticed that it is serious when it is a not poor boy, but not so much if it is any girl? That evokes no indignation!
Dr. J. Gokhale , Bangalore,
How do I defend myself from a verb like 'aggress'? It does exist, but why not 'attack'?
Harvey, Berlin, Germany
James Danvers of London, calm down. People who love the NHS going on and on and on about the fact that if you have lots of money in the US you get better treatment (as if that doesn`t happen in the UK). It is not a case of the NHS or die if you are poor. The NHS has a lot of problems, address them.
Tom, Tokyo,
James. If the NHS is so good, why are the private hospitals full? And why is it that for every £ claimed back for treatment given to other EU nationals, we are paying out about 15 ££ for treatment given to UK nationals, treated in what seem to be superior EU hospitals? NHS = dirty & 2nd class.
Graham , St. Albans, uk
Quite right, Frederick of London ! The American system is far superior. Just make sure you have your credit card handy in case you have a heart attack and are taken to hospital. No credit card, or means of paying ? No problem, just go ahead and die.
James Danvers, London, UK
This sort of knife crime in London has been going on for decades in the black community. It hasn't been reported because, well, it's black on black. In the last few years, because white kids are targeted, it has become an issue.
All of us have created the environment we live in by ignoring it.
kim, london,
Its about time it was made acceptable to be able to act in your own defence and get maximum backing from the so called authorities.It every ones right to be able to defend one self by any means rather than having to hide at home awaiting for the Govt to treat you like you are not part of the problem
Jason Bierce, Richmond Surrey, UK
NHS is classic Lions led by Donkeys. We handover a fortune in taxes so an army of badly led heroes can achieve mediocre results, in dirty hospitals. Yes, on occasion, its world class but why tdo we accept its only on occasion?
DJ, Leighton Buzzard,
You've got it all wrong India. Jacqui Smith tells us things are just the same as they always were and she must be right...mustn't she?
judy, Liverpool, England
After spending three months in hospital a while back, following a stroke, I agree with the posituve comments regarding the NHS. I don't think that I could have got better care anywhere. In addition, and you won't hear this often, I even thought that the food was good.
Bill Peter, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
To Frederick in London. My son, an apparently very fit 32 year old, developed a blood clot (probably due to too much flying). The NHS saved his life. The care was wonderful. That was six years ago. He is now married and I have an enchanting grandson. The NHS is the jewel in my crown.
Carol, London,
In most European countries (and certaily in the "old" EU15 & Switzeland & Norway) medical services are available as at comparable conditions (and better quality) than in the NHS system. There are not mixed wards anywhere in Germany...
Adrian, London, UK
The`NHS exists because of a choice as a society that we make to keep it. I have extensive experience, due to the genetic chronic illness that both of my children have. I echo the comments of the dedication of the people who work within the NHS. Privatising the cleaning led to MRSE.
Anna, London,
Slightly off the theme - but yes the NHS is one part of socialism (like a well run national transport system) that works. Having lived in the USA and now Germany, I have been appalled by the over-servicing (fear-mongering by doctors) and over-pricing of a private health system.
Mark, Munich, Germany
The use of a broken beer glass or bottle thrust in a victim's face during an altercation usually inside or near to licensed premises is very prevalent and leaves monstrous injuries requiring days of skilled hospital attention. You can ban knives but there are always bottles, shards of glass etc.
Robert El-Cid, Hull., East Yorks.,
Isn't it time for our politicians to pass a law which makes carrying a knife illegal, punishable with six months of extremely hard time. No court case, just take them away to somewhere where they have a very hard time, with misdemeanours punished physically.
Bring back the lash!
ROBIN BECKETT, houston, texas, United States
The NHS is a medical service that is paid for by compulsory deductions from peoples pay. You have no choice. It's like soviet style communism and it is run along the same lines. There is nothing "jewel in a crown like" in most people's experience of it. MRSE to say the least.
Frederick, London, UK