India, It's one of those unfortunate facts that modern society ignores. The majority of us are not naturally intended to live to the current typical old age. In a natural world the majority would die long before becoming a long-term burden. Think about that when pressing for more NHS spending.

Bob Finbow, Haverhill, England

Old age care is the next financial black hole. Given that young people are taxed more heavily than in recent memory and that they cannot expect decent pensions, could we start to emulate the Europeans on this front? Keep them close to home!

Colin, shrewsbury,

The most important issue which makes for a happy retirement is "Health". Reducing weight and eating healthy allows one to live an active life. Forget old peoples homes. Sell the house and invest the money in an interest earning bank account , then go live overseas in rented appartments.

Jim Wills, Brisbane, Australia

But India, someone has to pay. When my Belgian mother in law had to go into an(excellent) residential home, all her children received an annual bill towards the costs - no doubt Daily Mail readers would be horrified. You can't keep your 'childrens' inheritance' AND pay relatively low taxes.

Caroline, Amersham,

You are right to speak of old women. Most men seem to die before they reach the latter stages of dementia. When I visit old age homes the women seem to outnumber the men by about 4 or 5 to one. If children want to protect their inheitance, they should look after parents in lieu of nursing homes.

Joseph, London, UK

It is only fair to point out that there are some very decent care homes and some very decent carers. What must be a problem for many elderly hearing impaired residents is how few carers speak 'the Queen's English.' Pay is so poor that carers often leave for better paid jobs.

Helen, London, UK

I think people should think of quality of life not quantity. I don't blame the Hughes couple at all and at least they went together as they wanted.
I shall do the same when I have had enough and my GP knows that. My husband thinks I'm selfish but so be it.
We treat our pets better than the elderly.

Pat Seward, Four Marks, UK

A shame that there are so few emotional/intelligent people around ... forget it: just plain human beings like you, Stephen & Martin.

Ray Massart, Hombeek, Belgium

Why is it that we 'put down' loved pets when we see them suffering but that same right to terminate a human life in similar distress is not allowed?
Please lets try to curtail suffering not prolong it...

Richard Brady, wallington, surrey

F Pritchard - a note of warning regarding your comments about free care paid by the NHS is you have "health needs". To qualify for fully-funded Continuing Health Care, ones overall needs have to be measured against national criteria and is not automatically given - is needs led not condition led.

E Broadbent, Manchester, UK

Once you reach 65 the governement should provide free booze and fags for the rest of your life - problem solved!

Michael, Blackburn,

George Wood - spot on. You reap as you sow, and being old does not wipe out what you have done in the past. Nobody abandons their elderly parents without very good reason. Sadly, the way many people were treated, as children, by their parents gives them exactly that. Old does not equal saintly.

Sally Wilkins, Glasgow,

Is it not a sad indictment of our society that we are having this conversation?

martin brighton, sheffield,

George, it's not about planning or if children want to help, it's about being able to. Many have no spare cash to pay for home care and it terms of doing it themselves, they have to work to support their own families and pay the bills. Carers allowance is around 40 per week - could you live on that?

Maxine Longmuir, Warren, USA

The saying "Its takes a whole village to raise a child" should be expanded to include our elderly who struggle to cope.Ms Knight's idea of a commune is an excellent one,the loss of dignity thats goes hand in hand with these "foul nursing homes" should be unacceptable.

Denise, Litowel, Ireland

Excellent article.

James, so those over 70 should feel free to kill themselves because their lives no longer have any value? Or we could try treating people, whatever their age, as valued human beings. I don't think religion is the issue here, just human decency - and btw, I'm 30 and atheist.

Stephen, London , UK

State-paid care is all very well, but the fact is that many old people who are not sick enough to qualify are far too sick to cope alone. My gran, with terminal brain cancer, couldn't prepare a meal, communicate reliably, walk unaided: allocated a visit once a day. We lived over 100 miles away.

Lucy, Chester-le-Street,

If only we were not taxt into povety, we could support our parents. Out of each pound taken from me by the government for care of the elderly, I would be astonished if 10p was left after 'overheads'. It would be so much more cost effective for me to give it to Mum instead of El Gordo

Andrew, London, England

This is so true. I also read recently that police checks on care home workers are inadequate and there is an astonishing number of criminals from abroad working in care homes. Just the kind of selfless, caring individuals you wold want looking after your grandparents.

Samantha Brenchley, London,

Thank you to India Knight for saying what we, as carers, know to be a very stressful time. It doesn't stop when the elderly mother is moved into a care home because we do not know what goes on there. Then, the family home has to be sold - more stress for elderly children.

Lorna Fullard, Abingdon, Oxfordshire, England

Do we need more oil wars to finance this part of the 'welfare state' or do we march ahead towards legalising euthanasia? I don't agree with either choices of the 'post-industrial' society. I fancy the Bulgarian paradigm and have seen this work as a variation in a Greek provincial town.

Nicholas Xenakis, Borough, London, England, Britain

Current law allows for the NHS to fund ALL care costs if you have "health needs". The govt should ensure all PCTs apply the existing rules correctly before any new changes are made. It's not free care, it's paid for in our NI contributions. Many have successfully reclaimed funding wrongly charged.

F Pritchard, Birmingham,

Small towns in Wales still keep up care for the elderly within families. Sons in particular are the most likely to take a local manual job, when compared to more academic achieving daughters. The sons therefore often remain with parents in the same family house or live closeby right up to the end.

Colin, Carmarthen, Rural Wales

'A neighbour said: “It was too much to bear for them. They had spent their whole lives together.” '

Surely Mr and Mrs Hughes are guaranteed the right to "family life" by European and British human rights legislation? So how come government busybodies presume to break them up? Speak up , Ms Booth!

Tom Welsh, Basingstoke,

I covered my colleagues' maternity leave at work but I had to have a year's unpaid leave to look after my mother who has Alzheimers. I got no financial support in terms of benefits. Some of the stress of my family coping with our parents' illness was inadequate provision for leave from work.

colleen melanophy, london,

Kipling; a very strange post indeed. I am 61 and I live and work in central London, as do many of my contemporaries. I certainly don't notice the absence of women over 60 in the area in which I live.

Dectora, London, UK

The middle aged people seem to expect to stop work at 60 - leaving up to 20 years to be paid for by others. Treatments are increasing and all are expensive for little return. Of course for every slight problem the elderly are carted back into hospital for a cost of c. £400 a DAY.

Richard, London, England

OOO yes please - I am single, in my 40s... can I join your commune? Where do I sign up?

jackie, London, UK

A person does not have to sell their property to fund their healthcare. The PCT should assess their HEALTH needs before dishcharge from hospital or in the carehome. This is a well kept secret -if the person has health needs[ especially if they are suffering with dementia] the NHS HAS TO PAY THE FEES

KayJay, South Yorkshire,

A lovely lady who, after 94 years, was begining to lose her sight, her memory and her friends - she used to tell me that she had 'had enough'. She attempted suicide, but had her stomach pumped, developed dementia & has been locked in a foul home since, rather than being allowed to die w/ diginity.

Naomi, London, UK

...i live in bulgaria where the elderly live alongside thier extended families in villages or looked after by relatives. mind you, they drink and smoke so they dont drag it out too often. I think I will retire in a Bulgarian village...long hit summers, bird song in the air, and no crime..

andy anderson, rousse, bulgaria

Why not allow people over 70 to choose when to end their own lives, if they wish to?

Why force them to remain in misery because some Catholic politician believes in some fairy tales?

Life is not sacred. No-one would be forced to take this option, but currently we are forced not to.

James Dowling, London, UK

What else can one expect from a society that idealizes youth and beauty? Old people, just like the chronically ill or physically or mentally deformed, cast a shadow on our unrealistic approach to life and are not acknowledged as a being a part of our everyday existence.
Excellent article!

Ray Massart, Hombeek, Belgium

Barnsley council gave £3M pounds to their football club about three years ago. They saved £350k by closing down Penistone's only old folk's home this year. It was a good home and Penistone is an independent rural community. The inmates were very distressed - but the football club thrived.

Jack Briggs, Penistone, Yorks, England

I think that Old Peoples Homes and Nurseries should all be fitted with security cams that relatives and inspectors could view at any time, as that would be the only way to ensure standards of care and deter bullies and abuse within such systems.

Clare, cambridge, uk

Expensive dying ought to be avoided. Why is it that a medically assisted suicide isn't legal everywhere, especially now that so many of us are living longer?

Ernest Werner, Trumansburg, New York

When we reach 65, we have had 65 years to make our arrangements, surely plenty of time to plan. And as for those whose children won't help, we must ask, how did these people treat their children if in their hour of need their children will not help, and are only interested in inheritance?

george wood, brighton, uk

"This system, which penalises those who save, is to be scrapped, and replaced with a system where everyone gets government help." The system itself doesn't penalise, but the way it's implemented. The law provides for 100% funding where the primary need is a health need, but PCTs get around it daily.

David Gooch, Los Angeles, United States

Have you noticed how few women above say 50 years work in central London, or even greater London. How do they survive? Have they been 'disappeared' into some camp somewhere in the suburbs where the locals know there's something strange going on, but are too fearful to say anything ?

Kipling, London,

Solutions? Accept that your old age will cost.

Don't be complacement. Singletons either like solitude or build social networks but parents can't learn new tricks at 70 when spouse dies and kids have left.

Consider the reality of life at 80+ and your options about the end.

Vicky, Germany,