Sports Calendar

Fast-forward several months to last week: Jeff’s first five-a-side appearance since returning from a secondment to his bank’s New York office. “Hey barrister boy!” he shouted, slapping me on the back as he ran on to the pitch. “Save any crooks from jail lately?”

For a moment I simply thought, “He’s been emboldened by his US experience.”

Then I remembered.

Taking advantage of the sporting nature of the situation, I threw myself into a freakishly vigorous warm up routine that made any conversation impossible. During the game he kept making legal puns (“In off the Bar, eh?”; “That’s criminal defence mate!”) and winking at me.

Afraid of where this was heading, at the end of the match I hurriedly grabbed my stuff together and made for the tube.

“Not coming to the pub?” Jeff asked.

“Really sorry, got to get away quickly today – very busy you know. See you next week,” I mumbled, quickening my pace to a jog. Standing on the platform I let out a sigh of relief. With no train due for a couple of minutes, I took out an article I’d copied that morning from a law journal to read in preparation for a looming pupillage interview. Mid way through the third paragraph I heard a familiar voice.

“Alright, mate. I decided not to bother with the pub.”

“Jeff.”

Noting the piece of paper in my hand. “Bloody hell, you barristers are always working! A case is it?”

“Well, not exactly.”

Glancing down at the words, a phrase caught his eye.

“Ooh! International human rights. Interesting stuff. Do a lot of international work, do you?”

“Well. You know . . .”

Mistaking my evasiveness and panicked look for an admirable commitment to a barrister’s duty of confidentiality, he gave me an empathetic professional smile. At which point the train arrived. Desperate to escape, I launched myself shamelessly past an old lady in order to grab the only spare seat in the carriage – mercifully preventing Jeff from engaging me in more conversation.

After that I mysteriously developed an ache in my metatarsal that looks set to keep me out for the season.

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