It is the same in Canada. Fathers pay support of thousands of dollars to fund the activies that keep them with the mom and away from dad. Its a litany of emails to try to get access. It's frustrating, its hurtful to the children & no one has the teeth to stop it.

Janene Fulton, Nanaimo, Canada

The Courts are toothless, the Judges are gutless, the Government are spineless, this is not entirely a gender issue, but resident/primary carers are invariably mother's. This system is morally bankrupt, devoid of honesty and it is failing most importantly our children.

Adrian Marsh, Wakefield, England

I have not seen my 14 years old daugher for over months, my parents where my child lives & the father of my child and telling her lies about me. robbed of birthdays and christmas over the years. I once did not see my daugher for 2 years, and this was deemed ok, yet my parents insist she see her dad

Jenny, Chesterfield,

KATIE LONDON:- I have been seporated for nearley 3yrs my access to my 3 children fades away due to the brain washing from their mother. They all live in a house I bought, while i rent, i pay maintanace + buy clothes ect. DOES THIS SOUND LIKE I JUST WANT TO GET ON WITH MY LIFE? keep it 2 urself.

mark, Hawarden, UK

I have been alienated from my children, for the past 4 years, despite a report stating that the mother has projected her feelings onto the children. My parents have not seen their grandchildren for longer, they did previously had a good relationship with them. Parental alienation IS child abuse.

Graham Morse, Rhoose, UK

How encouraging to hear Lord Justice Ward speak out about Parental Alienation, although this form of child abuse is perpertrated by the resident parent - mother or father. As a member of Mothers Apart from Their Children, I have witnessed my children being let down by every professional involved.

Laura Monk, Leamington Spa, UK

After 8 years of custody and contact applications and with over 50 high court appearances, I have been alienated from my 2 children for the last 4 years. Every judge, cafcass rep and psychologist states that it is imperative that I see my children but the alienating parent can do as they please.

C, London, UK

I do not think that it is just the fathers who are getting the raw deal, it is the parent without custody which suffers. As a mother apart from my two children.....it appears that the family courts condone bullying and deceit. It is the more powerful parent that wins.

Rachel LIminton, Fowey, UK

How refreshing to hear a judge publicly speak out about Parental Alienation Syndrome. Although, unfortunate that it plays to the gender battle of 'vengeful mother' versus 'decent dad). Let's remember that fathers are just as capable of using their parental power in this manipulative and abusive way.

Nina, East Molesey, UK

my son not seen his daughter for 2 yrs.vicious ex-wife twice accused him of sexual abuse.also accused me of complicity. mother says anything she likes and is always believed.i havn't even been questioned but social services have forbidden me of any contact with my granddaughter Things have to change

Tricia, Rochester, u.k.

No one on this planet has the right to alienate a child from EITHER parent. Let us all give our support 2 John Hemmings - the only MP to have the courage + fortitude to give this matter precedence!

Jean, newcastle , newcastle upon tyne

As an alienated mum, who has obviously had experience of the family court system wld say the following:
Nick Langford - yes, there shld most definitely be a public enquiry. Child abuse is being perpetrated on a massive scale and is being aided + abetted by the pernicious family court system.

Jean, newcastle , newcastle upon tyne

Let's see some backing for John Hemmings MP, who is taking the matter to the European Parliament. Xactly David Thomas! It isn't a gender issue. The very pple society shld protect most, our innocent children, are being abused by an "inept" system.

Jean, newcastle , newcastle upon tyne

In my experience bigotry and prejudice operate in the Court system making maintaining contact impossible. Despite numerous Court contact orders in my favour everyone of these was broken by my ex partner. She was determined to alienate my children against me and succeeded. The Courts didn't help !

David, Norwich, UK

At the age of 14 a child is considered able to choose where and with whom they live. No matter what is presented to the Courts and CAFCASS this is the overriding principle. How can this be right?

Penny Cooper , Oxford, UK

I am a mother who has not seen her daughter for nearly 2 years due to PAS. I will never give up trying to contact my daughter, DADS, DO NOT GIVE UP. I have spoken to adults who have told me they waited each year for birthday contact from their alienated parent, It is VITAL not to give up, ever.

B, Hornchurch, Essex

I had a great relationship with my daughter, but i've not seen her in 6 years now. My guess is that i never will ever again. My daughter hates me because her mother told her bad things about me. The courts and cafcass both did nothing. The judge in my case said that he was sorry and that was it

steven , Derby, England

I too am a victim of PAS ,my EX a so called proffesional and a regular church goer has stopped all contact with my self for approaching a year this september , the court process is a long road adding to PAS, social services , and the police have been instrumental in aiding this situation ,

colin, ilford, england

My Father made my Mother's life a misery - we were all unaware as children and when they divorced my Mother did all she could for us to keep in contact with our Dad, she only spoke good of him. 20 yrs later I know the truth what painful sacrifice my Mother endured for us all, we feel so guilty

Patricia, BUCKS, UK

I heard Ld J Thorpe, in The Appeal Ct. say, of a mother`s failure to obey ct. Orders, "In these cases we are IMPOTENT."
The same phrase, in the same context was used by Mr J Holman in The High Ct. later. In my book impotent --- weak,
helpless, without power, Weak? Oh yes.

Frederick Gale, Fawley Hampshire, England

what this judge has said is absolutely true day in day out, it happened to me as a child and i've witnessed/experienced my husbands ex do similar with their children
a loving and committed father is being systematically erased from his childrens life only because the mother's has ego problems,

clarissa Smith, ilford, essex

Vengefull parent effect last for generations, I was never allowed to see my mother, told she's coming back to hurt or poison us, grew up in such a destructive atmosphere. Today my kids don't have any healthy relationship with extended family, they miss out on aunts, cousins and grandparents.

Carol, Oxford, UK

Dont pass the buck judge - if the courts ordered shared parenting rather than making mother primary carer and enforced contact orders then the alienation would have been reduced/eliminated in the first place. The system is being abused by mothers who know judges will not enforce orders.

Richard Gregorian, London, UK

My son's friend told us how much he missed his dad,I contacted the dad and found out when his ex died and he returned with his child after the funeral, the mother changed the locks and kicked both out, he's been trying for years to see his son, the mother now is so angry with the boy for speaking.

Carol, Oxford, UK

i am going through a similar experience,have been attacked,had smashed windows from my house because i would allow him in her car as she had been drinking,police arrested her and gave her a caution is laughable if a man did this he would be in court.had no contact with my son no one listens,

steve payne, chertsey, uk

I am someone who helps people in the Family Courts of Australia. I'm often in court and I'm never surprised to what I hear in court. We have things a bit better in Australia; the so called 50/50 care, is getting accepted, except from the extreme end of the feminist movement. Control is their issue.

Monteverdi, Sydney, Australia

2 reports from a psychologist, 2 CAFCASS reports, a report from a social detective, all supporting contact, £26,000 in legal fees, 7 Judges in the Courts of staffordshire, 2 court orders ignored and 3 years before I won contact never properly honoured. Email to Hariet Harman ignored. What hope?

Paul Damien, Brentwood, UK

You can't see your son because you show anger at not being allowed to see him. You can accept the harsh conditions or you can take the mother to court, where she will claim that your protests are intimidating, and you will somehow get even less contact. I think there's a handbook somewhere, 101 ways

Ivan Mysun-Beck, Winchester, UK

i went through a similar experience in 19959not sexual abuse);my daughter is now 23 and i have not seen her since she was 10!Her mother has no regrets of her behaviour1

anthony white, stratford upon avon, warwickshire

balance this with mothers struggling on with no support- either financial, physical or emotional. How many fathers want contact to manipulate and harass ex partners? Look at the stats for non molestation orders where relationships break down- FAIR review of the Family Court system is imperative.

Carolyn Rhodes, Belfast, uk

I found the major problem to be the unwillingness of Family Court judges to enforce their own orders when the mother, or social workers, refuse to provide contact, coupled with social worker gullibility and collusion over maternal allegations of sexual abuse against the father.

Phil, Suffolk, UK

A scandal for kids dads and mums of sons. We may all become victims of the family law court system.
Vengeful parents (usually mums) should be controlled by the courts. Natural justice is our only hope I fear.
What message do our kids get. They need the truth in time
Love your kids and be patient

Ian, nottingham,

I know this father well, having worked helped him a few years ago. I understand LJ Ward's predicament but the damage was done years and years ago when judges failed to enforce orders and threaten a change of residence if she didn't change her ways. Weak enforcement means more children will be lost.

Steve Stephenson, London, England

.2 issues, 1 solution, the much maligned CSA should calculate maintenance, (Which is really spousal maintenance back door) on % of DISPOSABLE income, not net earnings(like any NORMAL household!) but also negotiate access by written agreement. Access denied on mums whim?CSA suspend the maintenance...

phil glover, Grantown on Spey, Scotland

Of course the child comes 1st and long term damage of parental alienation far outweighs the short term distress. It is the worst kind of abuse because the child grows up not understanding that he or she is the victim of abuse and who is the abuser. Answer. Social detectives & penal orders enforced

paul damien, Brentwood, UK

A Japanese divorce lawyer once advised me that in Chiba Prefecture (roughly equivalent to Essex), fighting over custody of the children meant both parties wanted their ex-spouse to be lumbered with the children. No contact = No child support. Like, No representation = No taxation. What a deal.

Andrew Milner, Karuizawa, Japan

I've been trying to increase contact with my son for most of his 3 years. I regularly fend off his mother's accusations in my struggle, and my protests are ignored. She defies the orders and today psychobabbled the judge about children's needs and won a further reduction in contact. I despair.

Lou Pole, Winchester, UK

Court Orders for contact have no teeth and can be flouted by mothers knowing there will be no sanctions. That is why so many fathers lose contact with their children. Until Community Service is introduced & mothers know that there will be penalties for not obeying CO's this situations will continu

Anthony Esler, Newmarket, England

Parent Alienation Syndrome - where the parent 'with care' frequently 'puts down' the non resident parent, is a hidden cancer in our society.

More media coverage about the damage this causes to innocent children, children that the supposing 'parent with care' cares for, would be greatly beneficial!

Jim, London,

at the age of 3 my daughter was telling her friends "i am going to marry my dad".for 15 years my daughter and i had a great relationship. since xmas i have had no contact direct or indirect.WHY.?because her mother told her i wanted to have her aborted all those years ago.alienation at its worst.

paul, grays, england

Dads as well as Mums can and do behave just as badly when in the same position.

It is a Family Law system that makes 1 parent all-powerful over the children/other parent and dependent on that all-powerful parents whims that is at fault.

Shared Parenting works in many countries, why not here?

Jeff B, Addlestone,

Judges are relying too heavily on CAFCASS officers and social workers who try to pacity mothers rather than confront the issue. The main problem judges assume that the reports from these professionals are gosspel yet often only those who can afford it challenge them to find that there are flaws.

Richard H, London, UK

I never cease to be amazed at how the embittered parent with custody following separation/divorce consistently indulges their own hurt feelings at the expense of often irreparably damaging their child's development by depriving them of the unique relationship they need with the other parent.Grow up!

Ed Saunders, Cardiff,

It works the other way around too.

Let us not fall for the father V mother tactic of divide and conquer.

The Judges are trained to leave child with authoritarian parent.

It is also taught to officials that abuse makes children tough.

Enough said.!!

Lady Portia, London, UK

The same happened to me. I no longer see my two sons aged 8 and 14 or step daughter aged 20. Twolof them are on facebook, but I dare not contact him. They have lost a father and I have lost their childhoods. The damage has been done - simply because the mothers negative influence was not dealt with.

richard, newcastle, uk

Social services etc often support the abuser- thus keeping the case dragged out and money created for all.

The legal eagles are clever, knowing the innocent party will keep fighting for justice, thus lining THEIR pockets.

Some social workers also turn children against parents for no reason.

Lady Portia, London, UK

It is not only fathers who fall victim to vindictive mothers. When I asked my son's estranged partner to respect my son's wishes that she did not attend his funeral she responded by
denying all his family access to his 6 & 7 year old children.
He died in January, we haven't seen them since.

Anthony Mahoney, Stotfold., UK

Have to say this so familiar the police take no actions against mothers (i thought perverting the course of justice was still a crime) but will arrest fathers at the drop of a hat on the say so of a woman.
how about naming and shaming mothers when they break the court orders!!

paul mcleod, denton, uk

in response to Thalia,
a) your comment is irrelevant to contact per se.
b) I reckon its about even .

richard, newcastle, uk

The words "decent fathers" are pertinent. The child's welfare comes before "property" rights. And one must always be clear as to what behaviours induced the mothers to protect their child(ren) from exposure to the father. Fine fatherly words and apparent respectability do not always match behaviour

alan cornish, crowborough, UK

The solution to most problems lies in not having an enforceable prenumption agreement. If this covered as many aspects as possible-financial and parenting then some of the acrimony and awful expense in getting divorced would be avoided-there would be more certainity,less blame,kids would benefit.

Ian greenstreet, London, UK

Child alienation is an epidemic hidden by the secret family courts. Thousands of fathers have had their childern turned against them by embittered an/or damaged mothers. In my own case I have not seen my son, age 9, for over three years and have no real prospect of seeing him again.

P Hillier, Oxford, Oxon

Just like Morgan, this could have been about me too.
All my ex was interested in was access to my earning which had increased significantly some years after the divorce.
I also had the investigation into sexual abuse thrown out by social services as being vexacious. It was made so easy for her.

J, Bristol,

Katy,

This article is not about non-caring mothers or non-caring fathers.

It's about CARING fathers who have their children removed from them due to uncaring mothers evil intervention.

How would you feel if it were the other way round? Do you support this?

Lynton Jones, Leighton Buzzard, England

Thalia ... what has that got to do with it ? It seems to me that the childs best interests are not being served at all . In fact quite the opposite .

Benzo, Nr Chelmsford,

Women like this are quick enough to take wads of cash from their former partners in the form of maintenace payments, Judges must make it clear that if they are going to stop the fathers from having access by these means then the payments will be reduced to a token amount every week - say $1.

Jacqueline Wallis, Torquay, UK

It is extraordinary to think that it was 4 years ago that Mr Justice Munby described a father's efforts in a very similar case (F v M) as 'an excercise in absolute futility'. What steps have the judiciary and government taken for reform? None. That's the real scandal. It's time for a public enquiry.

Nick Langford, Portsmouth,

Our grandsons have turned from healthy, happy, loving children to stressed, frightened individuals because of their mother's unwarranted, bitter attitude towards their father. Judges rule that a stable, structured and regular accessed environment should prevail, but not to a venomous mother!

A E Thomas, Sevenoaks, Kent

this is not about how many mothers or fathers kill their children. this case is about a mother who apparently lied so her daughter would hate her father. it happens all the time and right now the fathers have no legal recourse. i doubt our politicians will have the proverbials to make a change

nadir, cambridge, UK

there can't be many examples of shared parenting that work in a child's best interests when the parents have split up. Partner wants shared care when it influences split of assets, but when it doesn't suit any more, well, change of story.

Maggie, Stamford,

The orginal problem should be the relationship between husband and wife. The court will not have a power to resist mother to stop telling the false to her childen. If you wanted to have the a good impression to your childen from their mother's
mouth, you should reapir the relationship to your wife

CHAN Chi-yung, Hong Kong, China

My ex wife took my three year old son 260 miles away. It is just not practical for me to move near him so I have to make do with getting the train every other weekend. This is on top of her getting two thirds of the equity of the house that I bought with my fathers legacy - someone she never met.

James Barnett, London, UK

I am a Moderator on Dads-UK Support Forums, and I see details of this kind of case daily, and it is not uncommon for a Judge to turn a blind eye to the alienation of a child against their fathers by mothers and maternal family for very selfish reasons. The courts do have powers but fail to use them.

David Thomas, Manchester, England

"decent" fathers "vengeful" mothers smacks of something else to me ..

as for "feminists partying in victory" - victory of what?

this is one father and one mother - don't tar all with same brush - historically women and particularly women always get bad press ..

Jacqui Deprez, London, England

I just wanted to say that this is not a gender issue. Fathers are equally able to abuse their parenting position give the chance. The issue is about parental power and abuse of it. The courts promote unequal parenting powers, which lends itself to abuse and manipulation by the parent with care.

David Thomas, Manchester, England

The law is simple, the court must act in the childs best interests, but far too many judges equate whats best for the child as 'whats best for mum' or happy mum = happy child. what rubbish! Its only when the judges of this land discover thier backbone will the kids get justice

misi, london,

This type of reporting actually worsens the sitatuation for fathers as when a senior judge says "...girl would be too distressed if she was forced to spend time with her father after her mother’s “corrupting” campaign", this amounts to a contact wreckers charter. www.fatherslegalresearch.co.uk

John Junk, Belfast,

Once again this ends up becoming a gender battle ground about Mums V Dads, and the Judge and this article help to divert the issues away from the real issues of Parental control & abuse, Parental Alienation, and the failings of Family Courts. The lack of Shared Parental Rights is the root cause.

David Thomas, Manchester, England

Again, this describes my experience of family law & separation. This so much damage to children, shown by copious independent research. It is time that the family law industry was forced to face the consequences of it's secrecy & actions, that ensuring a future supply of criminals is unacceptable.

Peter, England, UK

Parental alienation syndrome is recognised by some states in USA re custody battles. A psychologist can be brought in to see the child/children and this is taken into account in settling custody.

The same situation as in your article has happened to my brother-in-law and it is dreadful to see.

Kaye Howe, Reading,

I agree with whoever suggested the father should sue the mother for defamation.

It's a pity that the simpler alternative - of publicly naming and shaming her - is not available "to protect the child's identity". Huh! Talk about carte blanche

Duncan, Witheringhurst,

Katie at any meeting of Families need Fathers you will here the heartache of fathers who are distrought and cannot see their children, and i can speak from persnal experience i was told my contact was being reduced to 3 times a year to stop my daughter being mentally abused to hate me.

Ieuan Davies MBA, Basingstoke, UK

When you give power to one parent (resident) to stop or control the relationship of the other parent with the child/ren as they see fit, then you will always have a substantial amount who will abuse that power and their child/ren and other parent emotionally. Shared Parenting Rights is the answer.

Jeff B, Addlestone,

My own experience is of a vengeful father who has turned my son, who I love dearly and who I would do anything for, against me. My ex husband severely abused me and I had been vengeful he would not even have access to our daughter now. By not being vengeful I have lost my son.

J, Torrington, UK

As usual, the easy target is the mother. How many fathers are actually as caring as they should be after divorce and how many are really only interested in restarting their new lives and new families? It seems to me that this topic makes for wonderful tabloid headlines but misses the point.

Katie, London,

The power given to the resident parent by such judicial decisions is to condone emotional abuse. Of course the Courts could act, but they won't. It isn't about the welfare of the children but about destroying families and messing up children's minds.

What wil the next generation turn out to be like

Shaun O'Connell, Portsmouth, UK

For anyone who doubts that this kind of thing does not happen often, i would ask them to go and do some research. They will be shocked and horrified of examples of child abuse such as this. Go and read some true stories on the FNF chat forum of desperate fathers going through the same kind of trauma

Darren, Abingdon, England

Our son-in-law left the family home after years of lies and deceit. He took his salary, and stated he felt no guilt and would look out for himself. He now uses the children to gain as much as he can for himself. Vengeful mother! I don't think so! Lying Father more like the truth.

John Battersby, Wadebridge, UK

I've been through this scenario with my ex and my daughter, it's called parental alienation syndrome (PAS) and it's the worst kind of abuse a mother can inflict on their child in my opinion. The law has always been in favour of the mother and dads get nothing - it needs changing now.

Keith, London,

The answer to Thalia's presumably rhetorical question is that mothers kill about 22 of their children each year and fathers kill about 24 each year. Not a huge difference.

How is this in any way relevant to this case?

Nick Langford, Portsmouth,

the law is too heavily weighted in favour of the mother.. its obv that the children must take precedence but too oftten the man is crucified for the crime of being the man.. the pendulum has rightly swung away fm the man having all the upside..but as all too often it has swung too far..

zugerman, zurich, switzerland

Court orders for access are relatively easy , if expensive, to come by - however you soon realise they are not worth the paper they are written on as mothers can flout them as often as they wish (or ignore them altogether) with little or no threat of any meaningful punishment.

Gary Massey, Chippenham, England

My mother used the 'drip, drip, venom' tactic with me after my father left (aged 9). Luckily as I became an adult I was able to recover my relationship with my father. The only thing I still hold against him is the fact he 'gave up' on trying to see me. Fathers NEVER GIVE UP.

Birbi, Bristol,

Mother's in breach of court orders (or do anything likely to adversely affect the child/father relationship) should be brought to court to explain her behaviour and I see nothing wrong in publishing her name (but not that of child) - fathers are up against it when access is made difficult by mother.

Rodney Barker, Gainsborough, England UK

annie, alison, its not that easy. the judge has effectively said the police do not have a case to investigate. the police wont act if a law is not broken. the message the court has given to mothers is ' poison your children against the father and the courts will defend you'.

anthony, surrey, uk

The story isn't about me - but it may as well be.

Morgan, Manchester,

The father in this case should sue the mother for defamation, and should write to his Director of Children's Services at his local authority and formally request that they investigate the mother's conduct.

Gladiatrix, London, England

I work as a McKenzie Friend and Lay Adviser in Family Law. I see this type of cases every week now. Parents (Mums & Dad s) spending £100-£450K on Legal Fees and 2-5 years in the court system. To be told that the child "Welfare" is paramount, yet leave the children in a emotional abusive environment

Tim Griffiths, Guildford, UK

I am a member of Families need fathers and someone who runs meetings to try to help Fathers maintain a relationship with their children. I can say with my hand on my heart I have heard this story a 100 times. When oh when will this government listen to us and change the law to protect our children.

Neil Grice , London , England

My ex wife used parental alienation to exclude me from seeing my daughter who is a Down's Syndrome Adult. She psychologically abused my daughter to keep control of her disability pension and IC allowance and the joint assets from the divorce. Revenge came first not the needs of a handicapped adult

H Igarashi, Kidderminster, England

I sympathise entirely. When I got divorced my ex alienated my daughter then aged 11 against me and the court did nothing. have not seen her since. Presents etc are returned by her mother who says "I am trying to blackmail my daughter into seeing me". A vengeful mother has all the power in England

John, tunbridge Wells, england

This sounds like a case of emotional abuse by the mother, but of course, there are always two sides to a story.

I think Alison is right, the case should be investigated by the police, or this girl may never recover her respect for men.

Annie , Bath, UK

The Feminists must be partying in victory.

Pete, Cov,

The legal process is the cause of the delay and then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that the delay caused the problem to be beyond resolution. The family court system is the cause and the potential solution. It will however require a total change in the timetabling of these cases .

Henry McKee, Belfast,

I ve had numerous court orders on contact made to allow me access to my children, each time they have been ignored by the mother. neither courts nor police take any action. there is simply no incentive for her to comply. False accusations and verbal poisoning are commonplace, courts just dont care.

anthony, surrey, uk

Well - what a surprise - for us fathers who have always wanted to do the right thing by their children but have not been allowed to - or - more distressingly - have had access held like a gun - to our heads - in return for money - the whole system needs reviewing - so much for equality!

p bristol, Bristol,

How can it possibly be in the best interest of the child to remain with a mother who apparently falsely charged her child's father of a crime and who has taken away her daughter's right to know her father? Surely she would be better off with a parent who put her interests and not revenge first?

Sharon, Swanage,

I would urge the father to take the case to the police after comments like that from the judge.

Alison, Linlithgow, Scotland

At last a member of the judiciary has had the courage to speak out against the social evil of courts and social services condoning mothers' preventing fathers' access to children out of spite towards ex-husbands! Will this gauntlet will be taken up, too late though it may be for many of us?

Tony Harrod, Labuan, Malaysia

Surely then, in this case at least, the mother could be charged with child abuse?

Chris D, Edinburgh, Scotland

On the other hand, how many children each year are killed by their mothers?
How many are killed each week by their fathers?

thalia, london,