Harriet Minter
2 for 1 tickets to Casablanca, this coming Monday
Admit it. You, too, salivated over every word of the McCartney-Mills divorce. (At least one QC printed out the judgment to read on his way home . . . you know who you are.) But how do we fill the hours now? Never fear: the Water Cooler is here with some helpful suggestions on how to pass the time from now until your summer holiday.
1. Bill, bill, bill — you are supposed to be working, you know. If that’s all too much, learn to bill the American way: thought about your client’s case whilst brushing your teeth? Bill ‘em.
2. Embrace a new look. Look at Sir Paul: quick hair dye and — bang! He found himself a younger wife. Just make sure you get a pre-nup. You really can’t afford Ms Shackleton.
3. Book a holiday. Having a beach view as your screensaver isn’t the same as being on an actual beach view. It really isn’t. And you’re just going to be working through all of it anyway.
4. Torment junior staff. That’s what they’re there for. They don’t know what they’re doing. They think they’re too good to get you coffee. Remind them of their place. The ensuing complaints will give your employment lawyers something to do.
5. Clean the senior partner’s car. There’s a recession coming — you want to find yourself on the wrong end of it?
6. Buy a new house. Get out your calculator, get your secretary to track down back issues of Country Living and work out what you can buy with this year’s bonus. At least a sofa.
7. Challenge your colleagues to childish and potentially life-threatening stationery games: how many biro lids can you fit up your nose? Who can staple their own hand?
8. Organise all those post-it notes that decorate your desk, the ones you can’t bear to throw away even though you can’t remember what they mean.
9. Try internet dating. Been longing for your very own litigious lover? Lusting after that trainee? Now is the time to sort it out.
10. Update your facebook page. Remind yourself after the thousands of hours you’ve been working over the past few years that there’s a world out there full of people with lives. Reacquaint yourself with it.
If none of these appeal, there are plenty of other things to be getting on with. Those syndicated loan agreements won’t draft themselves, you know.
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Top advice, let' s hear some more....
Carrie, London,
Love the artical very funny and much appreciated by all on a dull afternoon at the office. Have worked our way down to number 7 on list!!
Ginnie , maidstone ,
What a stupid article to be on the Times website!!
ann, enfield, uk