Matthew Goodman
We've made some changes
to The Sunday Times
NAOMI, a 28-year-old single woman from north London, is fed up with online dating sites after failing to find love in cyberspace.
“They’re awful,” she sighs. “People put their best foot forward on them, putting up the best photo they can find of themselves and the most interesting stuff about them, and you get your hopes up. But when you get to meet them, they turn out to be a bit sad, not that clever and not very good looking – all the reasons they’re single.”
There are lots of people like Naomi who have become disillusioned with online singles sites. Asurvey carried out by YouGov earlier this year found that only 25% of people using internet-dating sites were confident of finding what they are looking for via the net.
That percentage may improve with the launch in the UK this week of WooMe.com, a new site that hopes to provide a better experience and help to cut out some of the more dubious claims made by those surfing for love.
Some of the cynicism that exists among people such as Naomi does not seem to have hampered the sector’s progress. According to Jupiter Research, a consultancy, the industry will grow from 2.8m paid users in Europe in 2006 to about 6m by 2011. At the same time, revenues are expected to grow from €243m (£170.4m) to €549m.
In the UK specifically, the demographics are working in favour of the industry. According to government data, 10 years ago, there were 6m single people in Britain. Today, that has risen to 11m and is forecast to rise to 16m over the next 10 years.
And as the online-dating sector has evolved, it has also become more sophisticated, with a proliferation of sites, many offering particular niches, whether they target the super-rich, single parents or particular ethnic groups.
The backers of WooMe, who include Niklas Zennstroem, the co-founder of the internet telephony company Skype, now hope to capture a slice of this expanding industry.
Their site is different from more established internet-dating services because it allows members to meet new people in one-minute bursts using webcams before deciding whether they want to follow up. It is an online version of speed dating.
The idea for the site came about when the sister of one of the co-founders, Stephen Stokols, was studying at university in San Diego and became frustrated with how time-consuming it was to meet people she had come across on social-networking sites such as Face-book and MySpace. The original thinking behind WooMe was to cut through that and allow people to connect almost instantly.
The founders raised $1.9m (£908,000) from Mangrove, a leading venture-capital firm, as well as Zennstroem’s company Atomico and business angel Klaus Hommels.
The way the new site works is relatively straightforward. Users register their details, and when they log on they join a session that will have no more than 10 participants – five men and five women – or create a new session and invite others to take part.
Once the session starts, you get to chat live, using webcams, for one minute with the other participants and at the end you give feedback on the people you met. If two people match up, then they have the opportunity to pay to get their contact details. The fee will probably be $1. There is also likely to be a system that allows people to get unlimited numbers of contact information in exchange for a monthly fee.
Crucially, says co-founder George Berkowski, a former Nasa engineer, unlike many dating sites, the service is free to join. And to make it more secure for all involved, users can only get contact details for people they want to follow up with if there is a mutual match.
The site has been in test phase for the past two months. Berkowski said: “The feedback that we’ve had is that anyone will give anyone else a minute of their time. The likelihood of you making a good first impression is pretty high.”
And there is limited scope for people to paint a less-than-accurate picture of themselves, he added. “WooMe achieves identity verification by users seeing each other in real time . . . there’s no way to hide behind fake profiles,” he said.
The business model of WooMe is somewhat different from the established dating sites, which usually charge a fixed monthly subscription, no matter how many or how few potential partners a user contacts.
Berkowski believes that the service taps into some key trends. For example, he points out that the market for offline speeddating events has grown from nothing to about $1 billion in less than a decade. Second, he said that the growth of social-networking sites was grooming younger people into accepting that their core relationships could be found online.
Although it launches this week in both the US and the UK, WooMe.com is not the first speeddating website to go live.
It was beaten to the punch by SpeedDate.com, which started up at the beginning of last month. For its first couple of weeks it was available only to residents of San Francisco, but it is now being extended across the US.
The site was set up by two graduates of Stanford Business School. One of them, Dan Abe-lon, said the early response had “exceeded” their expectations.
The creation of this second generation of internet-dating sites come as a market for similar services provided via mobile phones also begins to take off. Operations such as America’s MeetMoi, allow potential dates to get together via text message.
What all these services have in common is a greater immediacy and an ease of access that is significantly enhanced from more traditional online singles sites.
But the established operators are catching on to the possibilities that are opened up by improved technology. For example, Britain’s biggest dating site, DatingDirect, part of Europe’s market leader, Meetic, a French company, is experimenting with voice and video features.
Gail McLaughlan, who runs the online-dating division of Friends Reunited, the third-largest dating site in the UK, said live video represented a potentially exciting development for the industry. “It’s not something we do currently but it is definitely something we will keep an eye on,” she said.
All these bells and whistles may not be enough to tempt back those like Naomi who have been turned off the whole concept of internet dating. But even she admits that some of her friends found true love via the web, so maybe there will be a happy ending after all.
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I have found interesting people in internet and my best friend is one of them. We may meet nasty people in internet as well as in "real life". The only advice I give is avoid dating rooms, its all based in sex. Try to go to rooms where people have the same interests like literature,travelleing etc....
Gilda Amaral, São Paulo, Brasil
I have been in and out of internat dating for almost four years now as with my lifestyle it is very difficult to meet potential partners in any other way.
In that time I have met the wierd and the wonderful, the scary and the skint - a rich tapestry indeed. Experience means that now I can spot the chancers, the players and the married, but it still remains an enjoyable way to meet others.
I have yet to meet my "perfect match", but along the way have met some wonderful people who have become wonderful, valuable friends. So I say don't dump it - enjoy it, but give it time. If you are after a quick fix then the internet has other sites for that I'm sure - perhaps that is why your'e single!
Paul Ridley, Oxford, UK
SpeedDating never worked and hence the concept is dying. It is much more to me and everybody else but the looks. Also what if a person is not photogenic? This is a concept that will work on shallow and vain - and given that this group is quite large it might make money - oh well I forgot- vanity is free in this case.
Well good luck but I will go with more reputable websites.
P.S. I would not go to the stretch and calling this 2nd generation. eharmony is 2nd gen as they added a value. Most sites today lets you use video - so it is merely intro service - hence 1st gen.
Anna, Toronto, Canada
Love can be found online, it's happened for me, but I don't give much credit to speeddating! I think forums are the best way; they offer an environment to really get to know someone without dating being the main objective. At the very least, you can make some good friends.
Anna Fruen, Plymouth, UK
I joined a dating website and met someone quite special. (the first person I met off there) Though I won't classify wht we have as love, I very much hope it goes that way.
I have met other men through dating sites and am fortunate enough to have not had as bad an experience as Naomi. sometimes I think attitude has a lot to with with attracting people to you.
Rosie, London,
I met my beautiful, wonderful, clever, funny and sexy husband online. He is great looking, has a fantastic personality, and has a PhD from Oxford. I doubt very much I would ever have met him in the 'real world'. I am eternally grateful to the online dating website that helped me get together with this amazing man. The internet is full of the same people you see in the real world -- it just makes it easier to reach the ones you really are interested in. I have met all my dates online for the last 11 years. Fair enough, most have been rubbish, but I've met many friends online too, and most importantly, my husband.
Monica, London,
I found speed dating much more productive. Most of the girls I met on 'the sites' just wanted to chat for an age. I never liked typing much and I was mindful of the time I was burning. Had some fun on the web cam though :)
I think a lot of the women on these sites are overwhelmed buy the response they get and for some it goes to their heads and they become over selective. I never had any trouble pulling girls, but hell, it was difficult online.
So after a year of dating on and off the internet, I met this lovely little thing 14 years my junior. The best bit is she chatted me up in a pub! My view is that you can't beat a bit of social interaction and spontaneity...
David, Stourbridge,
Perhaps Naomi is "a bit sad, not that clever and not very good looking".
All the reasons she's single, perhaps?
Ashley McDonald, Bolton,
I have had success using a dating site. I have been very happy with a lovely girl who I met three and a half months ago. It does work and can be a very positive experience.
Rupert, Charlbury, Oxford, England
"a bit sad, not that clever, and not very good looking"
Wow! what a real prize YOU Must be?
I cant help wondering why someone trawling the world of virtuality for a "suitable partner" is in any position to be so superior?
I mean, lets face it... If there is a man or two out there, with a good career, dashing good looks and physique, great sense of humour, witty, erudite, loquatious, effusive and outgoing, AND has all his own teeth...
Its pretty much a Shoe-in that he wont be also trawling dating sites on the internet for a gold digging shrew with no social life and a bad attitude..will he?
Welcome to the 21st century,
Now, where did I leave my helicopter? I have an appointment at my pedicurist to get to, before I accept my Nobel prize for peace AND literature.
PhilJN, Runcorn,
Here in the USA, I have been using eHarmony for a year - without success.
I get matches, I email information back & forth through the system - GREAT.
I get to open communication with a wonderful (sounding) woman. Going well. I finally suggest we meet........screech of tires & brakes lock up.
I am meeting lots of women who are comfortable online. But are just not prepared to meet in person. Well, that's what I pay the money for & it ain't happening.
Well, I'm going back on my old technique - hanging out at the coffee bar in book shops - hey, at least I know I'll get a decent coffee that way.
Dry Heat Dave, phoenix, Arizona
For busy people the Internet is a great way to filter out some waste before spending time, trouble and fuel getting to and from dates.
Age, interests, geography, et al can be filtered appropriately, which does at least give the remainder a fighting chance!
I'm pleased to say that I've made some very good friends, and even someone who is more than a friend this way.
I raise a glass to the future and to the Internet.
David, Brill,
I have had also very disappointing experiences with my very short but painful introduction to internet dating.
I am divorced twice but live a happy single existence on the 10th year, with lots of boyfriends, tI am having so much fun in my life that I would dearly like to share it with a suitable man again diveb that I have a PhD
.Unfortunately we seem to have created internet monsters in line with the Perugia unfortunates in our children that have a concerning disrespect for both human life and individuals, a reluctance to live their lives away from the computer and worse an inability to cope with meeting people in real life.
I met three men through the internat service neither of which could be bothered to make an effort to dress up nicely, take my needs into consideration and to behave civilized and discuss normal topics.They all seemed to want quick sex and worse one was a potential crank becomming nastier by the minute eventually becoming abusive - I left in a hurry.
CLAIRE Abbot, geneva, switzerland
I find it interesting that Naomi, 28, categorises potential suitors from internet dating sites as "a bit sad, not that clever and not very good looking". If she is so beautiful, intelligent and scintillating, why is she trawling internet dating sites in the first place? Perhaps a case of the pot calling the kettle black?
Getoveryourself, Queensland, Australia
Or you could simply go down to the pub.
charlie, wolverhampton, UK