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A DOE-EYED Punjabi maiden with waist-length hair smiles demurely at a bare-chested hunk in Tommy Hilfiger jeans.
In the evening gloom of east London’s Barking Road, her whitened teeth are as dazzling as the multitude of sequins on her wedding veil.
Images of other airbrushed Indian stars beam from the windows of the Boleyn Bollywood Cinema, enticing British Asian fans to buy tickets.
Tonight’s feature, Namastey London, is typical of a new genre of Hindi films set outside India. Shot with a British crew at locations across London, including the Millennium Bridge and Canary Wharf, the film’s most lucrative audience is the so-called “brown pound” – millions of nonresident Indians (NRIs) in the UK, America, Canada and Australia.
“Indian producers know that if a film will appeal to NRIs, they are on to a big hit,” said Komal Nahata, editor of Film Information in Mumbai, the former Bombay, which is the home of Bollywood.
“Of course, they want it to do well in India, too. But nowadays many mainstream films are making more money abroad.”
Thanks to a revolution in global distribution, Britain has emerged as the biggest market for Hindi films outside India, with more than 2m tickets sold here each year.
In 2005, a record 74 Indian films were released in mainstream UK cinemas, outnumbering British productions.
Crucially, NRIs pay up to 20 times more than their Indian compatriots. In Leicester Square, a ticket will set you back at least £12. To see the same film in one of India’s single-screen theatres, often with distorted sound and the occasional rat scampering about, costs just 60p, the daily wage of some 400m Indians.
The financial influence of this growing NRI audience, coupled with the growing economic clout of India’s middle-classes, is having a dramatic impact on the way Hindi films are being made.
“Both groups have been exposed to Hollywood and world cinema, so nowadays they’re demanding a higher standard of film-making and storytelling,” said Indu Mirani, a Mumbai film critic.
Indeed, the all-singing, all-dancing, three-and-a-half-hour extravaganzas of the 1980s and 1990s – which combined romance with action and comedy – are in their death throes.
“No-one will put up with out-of-sync dialogue and implausible storylines anymore,” observed Mirani. “Films are getting slicker. The biggest-grossing movie of 2006, Dhoom 2, looked like Mission Impossible – minus all the dancing, of course.”
But for all its new-found sophistication in production, distribution and marketing, Bollywood has hardly abandoned formula film-making or its own unique brand of escapism. The love story cum family drama remains the staple, although it is increasingly set against Manhattan’s sky-line or the London Eye.
“NRIs identify with cross-cultural themes, and Indian audiences love the exotic locations,” said Nahata. “Everyone has seen [the city of] Mumbai a million times. Films have become like travel shows.”
Again, Britain is proving the most popular destination. In 2006, 40 films were shot in the capital alone. Londoners are growing accustomed to seeing troupes of bhangra dancers performing in front of the camera on the steps of Trafalgar Square or busty actresses in chiffon saris in Piccadilly Circus.
And Indian directors find that shooting abroad can make economic sense. In India stars often commit to several films at once and can be notoriously fickle about adhering to shooting schedules. In London, they can’t escape to a rival set. Directors can also operate without constant interruptions. “If I take a big star out on the road anywhere in India, there’ll be 15,000 to 20,000 people within a flash,” said Vipul Shah, director of Namastey London. “That’s not a problem we face in London.”
At £200m a year, the overall financial contribution by Bollywood to Britain’s economy is not hugely significant. But with the Indian film industry set to double to £2.2 billion a year by 2011, that figure will rise. Film London, which facilitates crews in the capital, said its office was being inundated with phone calls from Indian producers.
Bollywood is proving a boon to tourism, too, with Indians opting for locations they’ve seen on celluloid. After Blenheim Palace was featured in one Hindi film, the number of Indian visitors shot up 800%.
But not everyone is happy that so many Hindi films are being shot abroad. Uma Da Cunha, a senior Mumbai commentator, said: “We in India see people getting divorced or having extra-marital affairs. But NRIs want to be shown India in a pure, honourable light with all its virtues intact. Most of the films being made now pander to that audience. This is really sapping our creativity.”
Certainly the portrayal of western society in Bollywood can be surreal. In Namastey London, the heroine is a bitchy London playgirl who lives in a red-brick palace, dates a millionaire who counts Prince Charles among his friends and visits bars where she performs gyrating dance numbers that rival Christina Aguilera’s. She eventually gives in to the charms of a wholesome Pun-jabi village boy and reforms into a dutiful doll-faced Indian wife whose only ambition is to cook and pray for her family.
Director Karan Johar, whose third film, Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, featured most of London’s major landmarks, as well as Bicester Village shopping centre in Oxfordshire, is unrepentant: "Parents take children to the cinema to learn about their culture and they want to see colour and celebration and exaggeration," he said. "They don't want to see dirt and poverty. Frankly, that's a real turn-off."
Reeling them in
Indian productions are worth an estimated £14m a year to the capital In 2006, over 40 Indian films were shot in London Hindi films are the most popular foreign-language movies in the UK There were 2.6m visits to Hindi films in 2006 Indian films accounted for 16% of all UK releases and took £12.4m at the UK box office Worldwide, Bollywood is a $10bn industry, with 3.1bn tickets sold every year (more than Hollywood’s 2.9bn) Sources: Asianfilms.org, Variety, Price Waterhouse Coopers tre in Oxfordshire, is unrepentant: “Parents take their children to the cinema to learn about their culture and they want to see colour and celebration and exaggeration,” he said. “They don’t want to see dirt and poverty. Frankly, that’s a real turn-off.”
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So they don't film scenes in Croxteth, Toxteth, or Moss Side then?
John O'Driscoll, Dublin, Ireland
The fact that a film like 'Dhoom 2' was the biggest-grossing Bollywood movie of 2006 doesn't say a lot about NRIs, and nor does it say a lot about 'new' India: not sure who the film was catering to - as an Indian living in the UK, I don't want to watch movies like 'Dhoom 2' because they are cheap copies of better Hollywood movies.
I would prefer to watch a movie like 'The Namesake', which is an Indian flim in English/Bengali, and yet it captures more of India than a movie like 'Dhoom 2' ever would.
I'm not trying to be a pseudo-intellectual - I enjoy all kinds of flims, but I find a lot of Indian cinema of today very distasteful, as it caters to the typical new breed of upper middle-class kids/professionals from the suburbs of Delhi who are the 'wannabe-cool' kind - believing that anything remotely non-Indian is in.
Fortunately for India, over half of the population is of a totally different breed - some films catering to 'that' India would be appreciated.
Udaiveer Anand, London,
So they don't film in Toxteth, or Croxteth or Moss Side then?
John O'Driscoll, Dublin, Ireland