No one was safe yesterday as Mike Ashley brought the house down with a one-man pantomime routine his close friend Sir Philip Green would have been proud of.

Philip Dorgan, the critical Panmure Gordon retail analyst, was slammed as a “moron”, while Merrill Lynch was attacked for not preparing Sports Direct well enough to climb “Everest” and succeed on the stock market.

The best was saved for the former England football manager. “Steve McClaren? He's there with the ex-wife on the ‘Do not get a Christmas card' list.”

Yesterday was the Sports Direct founder and deputy chairman's day in the sun at an extraordinary meeting in the City and he loved every minute of it. Not even half-year results revealing a 70 per cent plunge in pre-tax profits to £21 million could ruin the moment.

Revenue was down 7 per cent at £668 million over the six months to October 28 but Mr Ashley rattled off evidence to argue that shareholders have seen the worst. The gross margin across the Sports Direct empire is up by 220 basis points, the company expects to beat current profit forecasts for the year, and there was even an interim dividend of 2.06p per share (which hands Mr Ashley £8 million).

“My message to shareholders is that you've got to hang on. We couldn't have had a worse start, there's no doubt about that. It can't get any worse, the only way is up,” he said.

He added there was no intention of taking the company back into private ownership. “I tend not to walk away from fights,” he said. “The strategy was to go public so that is what we're going to stick with.”

Referring to the fruitless search for a new non-executive chairman — seven months and counting — he joked: “I'm impossible to work with.”

Investors responded to the rallying cry and Sports Direct's shares ended 20 per cent higher, up 16p at 101p.

The stock is likely to be supported even more over the coming weeks by a further programme of share buybacks approved at the meeting. Mr Ashley, with a stake of nearly 68 per cent, was one of only two shareholders there to vote in favour of the move — the third turned up late.

The tycoon believes a fair Sports Direct share price would be 800p, more than double the 300p float price in February that has never been seen since in a dismal year for the business.

“I still think the underlying value [of Sports Direct] should represent 800p,” he said. “Whether I have any confidence in the market now getting it to 800p I don't know, but at 80-odd pence... I don't know what to say, I'll recommend my dead gran to buy stock.”

He argues that without the perfect storm of a dismal summer, the England football team's failure to qualify for Euro 2008 and tough Christmas trading, Sports Direct would be sitting pretty rather than seeing its profits disappear. England's failure could cost £70 million in 2008 given the replica shirts Mr Ashley has committed to buy from Umbro but cannot sell.

“We are in no way a broken business,” he said. “We've had three train wrecks — the weather, England being smashed out of Euro 2008 and Christmas has been very tough. We have a broken nose, broken arm and broken leg but we are still going to get on the next train and get to our destination.”

The destination remains the same as at the time of the February flotation — to become the most profitable sports retailer in the world. Mr Ashley gave little sign the tactics will change either. He vowed to continue mixing brands such as adidas and Nike with those of his own, such as Lonsdale and Dunlop, in his Sports World and Lillywhites stores.

He will also continue with the seemingly random strategic investments that have so infuriated the City. Sports Direct owns 29.9 per cent of Umbro, 29.9 per cent of Blacks Leisure, 11 per cent of John David Group and 0.5 per cent of adidas. Mr Ashley himself bought Newcastle United Football Club in May. He says there is a sound strategy, arguing that the decision to buy a personal stake in adidas this year opened doors the German supplier had never opened before. “We met eight people from adidas and one we'd never seen. We were wondering why wasn't that happening before?”

He added: “When Nike came in for Umbro it made sense for us to have a substantial seat at the table. On the one hand we're now sitting on a very nice premium but we didn't buy the stake to achieve a capital gain but to ensure our conditions with Umbro don't change.” A decision on whether to accept Nike's £285 million bid for Umbro will come in the new year.

The honesty was appreciated by analysts, who have criticised the group all year. However, Merrill Lynch, the investment bank that helped float the group in February, may not approve of the all-new, all-open approach.

“The market wasn't told of the fact that we didn't report like-for-like sales,” Mr Ashley said. “[Merrills] were definitely responsible for not communicating it well enough.” Ouch.

Ashley fights back

‘We are not a broken business. We’ve had three train wrecks – the weather, England being smashed out of Euro 2008 and Christmas has been very tough. We have a broken nose, broken arm and a broken leg but we are still going to get on the next train and get to our destination.’

‘My message to shareholders is you’ve got to hang on. We couldn’t have had a worse start there’s no doubt about that. It can’t get any worse, the only way is up.’

‘It’s like Merrill Lynch told us “You’re going on a hike, bring your gear” and then opening the door and finding Everest in front of you. We didn’t appreciate the quantum of the task ahead of us.’

‘Steve McClaren? He's there with the ex-wife on the “Do not get a Christmas card” list.’

‘Philip Dorgan [the Panmure Gordon analyst]? His clients must be short-sellers or he must be a moron.’

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