I was watching BBC's Working Lunch the other day (one of the many exra lengths I go to for this column) and I came across the fascinating story of Michelle Mone and the company, MJM International, which makes Ultimo bras, and which she runs with her husband, Michael.
Mrs Mone and her husband had fallen out to the extent that they called in a man called Dr Ted Anders, a life coach who once trained Nasa astronauts. Mrs Mone credited him with saving her relationship.
She said that Dr Anders taught her and her husband how to speak to each other. "We now speak to each other in a different way," she said. "He's brilliant at what he does and I'm brilliant at what I do, and that's why the company is successful."
I suppose if you can get people to co-exist in the small cockpit of a spaceship, you can work with a married couple and make them see sense.
It was an uplifting story, not that Mrs Mone would recommend husbands and wives starting new businesses. "Statistics show that 80 per cent of them end in divorce or go to the wall after four years," she added.
Of course the Mones experienced a situation that happens a lot in small businesses where a husband and wife work together. In my business (sorry, our business), my wife and I are the sole directors and while the responsibilities are well divided we do clash. I suspect this has as much to do with the fact that we're coming up to 35 years of married life as the stresses of business life.
She says, and I don't need Dr Anders to tell me, that sometimes I do shout a bit or expect her to know things that she doesn't. On the other hand, she asks questions that don't need answering and if she was an employee, I could stop her doing it by being polite but firm. And then if she didn't listen I could sack her.
I doubt I would get my dinner on the table if I sent her a written warning. But at the end of the working day, who is there to go home to, to complain about the boss/manager/latest witless hireling? Being married to the company's only other director is undoubtedly the surest way there is of taking the pressures or frustrations of your work home with you.
In the absence of Dr Anders, I decided the web was as good a life coach as I could get. One solution suggested was that you should sign a partnership agreement before setting up the business. Then when things go wrong you can talk about. But that assumes you are still talking.
The same website suggested that attending business courses together would also help. Another said it was vital for husband and wife to get rid of their egos. Accept advice as you would from a co-worker and clearly define roles.
And I realised that it's not just me who's at fault. Don't barge in on your partner when he or she is on the phone and don't pass them notes, they suggested. That rings a bell. Have clearly defined times when you discuss business and when you do not, was also suggested.
For instance, it is a bad idea to interrupt the Paramount Comedy Channel at 11pm to remind your spouse about what needs doing tomorrow or about a particular invoice that needs paying.
That said, I've learned not to check the invoices any more, or chase them up. We've developed pretty good demarcation lines - I've just got to learn to stop shouting.
