CADBURY SCHWEPPES has discovered the internet. Like Granny essaying a cautious frug at a family wedding, our venerable chocolatier has set up a blogsite. “Blogging is the hottest internet trend at the moment,” Granny says excitedly.

The site allows graduate trainees to post their working diaries and give potential employees an idea what it is like working at the firm. Er, are the entries anonymous, I ask? “No, they are not.”

Now, trained statisticians may spot a slight flaw here. “We’ve encouraged the graduates who’ve taken part in it to provide a rounded picture,” Cadbury assures me.

Of course you have. Listen to Mr Flake, aka Steve in sales and marketing: “A few minutes spent with my market research colleague has reassured me that Flake continues to perform strongly in the market, and then it’s on to the telephone to check with my science and technology team that our projects are progressing as we hoped.” Steve, you’re a creep.

TO THE Italian Embassy, for the presentation of an award to Italian business. (To mark the start of the Parmalat trial? For excellence in central banking? No, to Fiat.) Lord (Swraj) Paul of Marylebone, one of Labour’s biggest donors, was effusive in his praise of Gordon Brown. “He is the best Chancellor in the country — er, sorry, I mean the world.” Swraj, you’re a . . .

Trouble brewing

IN AUSTRALIA, the nation’s beer drinkers are convulsed over the possible hostile takeover by the huge Lion Nathan of Coopers, a much-loved, independent Adelaide brewer. So much so that fans are being asked to take part in a “Support Coopers Weekend”, when they pledge to buy and consume twice as much of the brewery’s produce as usual.

And no cheating by keeping it for next weekend. A round-robin e-mail admits: “Many of you will end up unconscious or in bed with someone you hate, but what’s an unwanted pregnancy compared to the thought of Pale Ale in the hands of a faceless multinational?”

HAS it really come to this? Two decades ago Mikhail Gorbachev was embarking upon the task of opening up the world’s second superpower to the outside world. Later this month he will be speaking at the “World Federation of Direct Selling Associations’ World Congress” about the importance to the Russian economy of direct selling, which I take to have something to do with flogging double-glazing.

Double standards

THE EU is to assess all buildings for energy efficiency and rate them accordingly, you will read elsewhere in this paper. What impact, then, on certain key UK government buildings? Will they have to comply? What do you think? The new Treasury block is exempt because there is no public access. The Houses of Parliament are exempt because it is a heritage building. As with the Freedom of Information Act, there’s always a get-out. Your own office, though — prepare to receive the paperwork.

TIME was when Ken Livingstone, the Mayor of London, was pilloried for being too close to property developers, encouraging them to erect skyscrapers across the City. Has the love affair cooled? This week, at a conference, Red Ken described developers as “some of the most rapacious bastards on the planet”.

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