In Scotland, there are attempts to ban a local Orkney brewery from making an ale called Skull Splitter. It is worth taking a look at how this absurd row blew up, because it tells us much about how we are governed.

An outfit called the Portman Group, funded by the drinks industry to persuade us to drink less - stop laughing at the back - hired PIPC, a global management consultancy, to go through 485 alcoholic drinks and see how many transgressed its rules about linking drinking with violence, sex appeal, etc. Among 32 miscreants they identified Skull Splitter. So management consultants solemnly decided that people buying a bottle with a rather fanciful Viking depicted on it were more likely to commit mayhem than someone drinking, say, Wifebeat . . . sorry, Stella Artois.

The brewery refused to back down and is being taken to the Portman Group's independent complaints panel, which is manned by “ordinary people” - a teacher, a vicar, a lecturer and so on. This is no guarantee of common sense, because of the sort of ordinary people who push themselves forward for such jobs. Meanwhile, I am told that if I, or you, or that guy shouting to himself on the top floor of the bus, care to make a similar complaint, the same, solemn procedure will be put under way. Automatically, and no matter how frivolous it may be. A busybodies' charter.

Inside news on man inside

News of Gary Kaplan, awaiting trial in the St Louis County jail in Missouri. The founder of the online gambling firm BetOnSports, whose British chief executive David Carruthers himself ended up under house arrest, faces various charges, including racketeering and fraud. He was refused bail after he was found with five passports and various currencies, but he is not allowing this to cramp his style while inside.

The local paper reports that he still has access to a laptop computer and printers, shoelaces and various metal objects denied to other inmates, and family visitors, each day. Kaplan has a personal fortune put at more than $100 million. Questions are being asked about this lenient treatment, not least because it could put him at risk from attack. Only one picture of Kaplan exists.I found it on the Interpol website. He is apparently not fond of it appearing. I can't think why.

Like those echoes from the Big Bang that still ripple, scientists tell us, across the further reaches of the cosmos, the gravitational waves from the collapse into administration of Lehman Brothers continue to reverberate plaintively across the ether. There are various exciting job opportunities still available on various websites, including “Head of Accounting Policy, London”, who will “lead the accounting policy function in the Europe and Middle East region”. Or quite possibly will not, now. “It's run out of the US,” explains a baffled source at PricewaterhouseCoopers, the administrator. “It takes a while to get things done.”

The 55 Bar is a live jazz and blues bar in the West Village in New York and, although only a short cab ride from Wall Street, it is a cultural world away. The other night, the trombonist handed round the hat. “Please give generously. My investments were with Lehman Brothers and my insurance is with AIG.”

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