Is the Government planning some sort of self-regulating body for the internet, along the lines of the Press Complaints Commission that (supposedly) protects the interests of those who have dealings with newspapers? Andy Burnham, the new Culture Secretary, was certainly dropping heavy hints to this effect at a lunch with journalists yesterday. Whether such an idea would work is another matter. It is probably easy enough to get the big, non-controversial sites such as Facebook, MySpace and YouTube to sign up, and to crack down on abuse, harassment and fake postings on them, but the sole purpose of the, er, wider shores of the internet is that they are impossible to police, isn't it? And just what will the more libertarian bloggers make of being told to toe the line by some official, government-sponsored body? I think we can imagine.

Still, at least Burnham is more open than his predecessor, the notoriously cautious James Purnell. He even blocked a question with the reply “I'm going to go all James Purnell on you ...” And then realised what he'd just said. “James is one of my best friends. He'll forgive me.”

Take aim! Fire!

Just as Norwich Union was handing 1,800 staff their cards a little more than a week ago, the insurer was putting the final touches to a jolly for freeloading insurance journalists, shooting clay pigeons from a barge on the Thames the following week. A touch insensitive? “The juxtaposition is unfortunate,” a Norwich man admits. “We didn't know the timing when we scheduled the event.” I think someone missed a trick. Give the 1,800 a head start, maybe 15 minutes, and then arm the journalists.

— It had to happen. Moir Lockhead, the chief executive of FirstGroup, gets his knighthood and its First Great Western, aka Worst Late Western, goes to pot again. Passengers are being advised not to travel from South Wales, Worcester or Cheltenham to London, one stressed commuter tells me from the train. “Am sure it is probably Network Rail's fault, but it was his knighthood that caused it really. Bad karma ...”

And while we are on the subject, consider that other undeserved knighthood, awarded to Network Rail's chairman Ian McAllister. I read in another paper that headhunters are lining up his replacement. Are these the same headhunters that Notwork Rail assured me were doing nothing of the kind a week ago? Funny how the story gets around.

— Forget Peak Oil, worry about Peak Water, a consultant was telling me the other day. When that runs out, we're in real trouble. T. Boone Pickens, the speculator and corporate raider last heard of forecasting a relatively modest $150 for oil this year, seems to think so. BusinessWeek reports that he now owns 68,000 acres of ranch in the Texas Panhandle and has also just bought the rights to the huge amounts of water that lie in the aquifer underneath. He now owns more water than any other individual in America and hopes to sell 65 billion gallons a year.

— Are the banks treating us like funts? The Labour MP Stephen Ladyman is starting a Commons debate today about the need to protect consumers who owe and who are doing their best to repay their debts. In the latest jargon, lenders regard them as “funts”, as in “financial untouchables”, rather than as human beings who could, given more sympathetic handling, be customers again in future.

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