I mentioned last week that I was attempting to tackle my workaholicism and received several e-mails in response, nearly all from current and former colleagues inquiring how I could claim to be addicted to work when I evidently did so little.

I'll provide an answer, but first I would like to respond to the one message that didn't make this hilarious gag. It came from a reader, a self-confessed workaholic, and asked how he could change his ways when his boss had got so used to him slaving away.

The query raised one of the most profound challenges of modern existence: how to say “no” to your boss without making it sound like a four-letter word? Which is not to say that uttering “no” isn't difficult elsewhere. As a parent it's hard because you want your children to be happy, but at the same time you don't want them to turn out like Paris Hilton. As a child it's hard because you want your friends to think you're cool, but at the same time you don't necessarily want to smoke crack cocaine.

But nowhere is “no” more difficult to utter than at work. Corporate culture is essentially upbeat. We are meant to spew in gratitude at opportunities to spend extra time in the office and squeal with delight at chances to take on extra work. But what if you want to sleep or watch the occasional episode of Grand Designs?

Unfortunately, professional advice on the topic is somewhat ropey. Here's one expert suggesting you respond with the line: “I don't think I have the necessary skills for this project.” That just makes you sound lousy at your job. Meanwhile, the suggestion that you say “I could do it, but in two years' time”, sounds sarcastic.

The Donald Rumsfeld Prize for Impenetrability goes to William Ury of Harvard Law School, who, in The Power of a Positive No, suggests “rooting your answer in a deeper yes”. He says: “The yes at the start is an opportunity to clarify your motives in saying no, showing you do not reject the other individual personally. You then assert your no in a straightforward manner, establishing your boundary. Then you suggest a positive outcome that may be acceptable, which again is a sign of respect for the other person's needs ... now you must manage the other person's reaction as he or she goes through the various stages of acceptance of your answer.”

The problem with all such advice is that it presupposes that there is a science to saying “no” to your boss, when it is actually an art. It is an art because bosses, some of them at least, are human beings and therefore each responds differently to rejection, because some bosses just can't take no for an answer, because some bosses have a habit of ambushing you with requests, and because often there is a part of you that wants to do the work.

Indeed, I have found this last factor, along with the fact that I am - and here's a response to the other question - a painfully slow worker is the biggest obstacle in tackling workaholism. I thought I had solved my problems when I took a job where my obligations were set out in a contract. But I still find myself taking on additional projects because the work is fun and because it's nice to make a contribution.

Having said that, I do think there are things that can be done to make “no” less problematic. These are less coherent strategies than practical tips.

Tip one: avoid the office. If you work at home, or remotely, it's less likely you'll be landed with unwanted work. The downside of this is that the isolation will eventually drive you insane.

Tip two: when in the office don't remain in your seat for more than ten minutes. This not only gives the impression of being busy, but makes it less likely that you'll be lumbered with a project from hell.

Tip three: develop a permanent air of aloofness so that people think twice before asking you to take on extra work. You might find this difficult if you're following the first tip: if you work alone at lot, such is the thrill of finally having human contact that you can't help but walk around licking colleagues' faces in excitement.

Tip four: disease. A friend of mine has spent this entire winter getting out of things, work, dates, family engagements, by claiming he has a vomiting bug. He swears by it, though presumably you can't use it with same person repeatedly.

Tip five: other people's diseases. There is no more effective way of getting out of something than by saying you need to look after a sick child or relative. I'm too superstitious to try this. You should be careful what you wish for.

Tip six: never answer the phone. Let all your calls go to voicemail. And don't, for God's sake, mention a mobile number on your voicemail message, just a contact e-mail address. This reduces the chance of being ambushed with a request.

Tip seven: finally, if all this fails, there is the Indian head roll. Halfway between a nod and a shake, this is the physical tick the Indian race has developed for dealing with the fact that they hate saying “no”, a physical expression of the classic Indian phrase “it will be done”, which vaguely postpones tasks into the future. Your boss gets the impression you're going to do the work, you know you're not going to do it and everyone is satisfied. For a bit.

sathnam@thetimes.co.uk

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