Plus Markets, the exchange being revived by the former London Stock Exchange man Simon Brickles, chose yesterday to launch its cut-price share dealing service, which is supposed to undercut the LSE. (And whatever happened to Project Turquoise, the other LSE rival, whose choice of trading platform/chief executive has been about three weeks off for much of this year? About three weeks off, apparently.)

Plus, which has had £25 million spent on it so far, has published a series of tariffs that purport to show that it will, come November 1, be “substantially cheaper” than the LSE.

The trouble is, they are so fantastically complicated, I couldn’t say. I’m not saying they aren’t. They probably are. The LSE is, predictably, disdainful – “Taking spin to a new level”. The tariff comparisons are “misleading in a number of instances”. And not in a number of others, I imagine. You decide.

Auntie says no to party partying

The dear old BBC. I love it, I really do. But I hear that this year Auntie has quietly dropped all the parties that it used to put on at the various party political conferences. I rather suspect that someone decided that the inevitable publicity about how much they cost was not terribly helpful in today’s climate, what with budget cuts, Queengate, what have you. A spokesman confirms: “The BBC isn’t holding large receptions at any of the party conferences this year as we are constrained on a series of fringe events, for example a World at One debate hosted by Martha Kearney.” Of course you are.

In California, local fishery businesses are incensed at the lack of progress being made in eliminating about 65,000 killer pike, which are ruining local salmon and trout farms. So far the authorities have tried poisoning them – no joy. Blowing them up – result, exactly four dead pike. Signs have been put up with headless pike, encouraging fishermen to throw them back in the water “to show them we mean business”. The latest eradication attempt, another poisoning, was celebrated by the ritual burning, Wicker Man-style, of a 13 ft papier mâché model of a pike by about 200 locals. I wonder if they are not missing the obvious solution. Pike, properly prepared, is regarded in many places as a delicacy.

A Scottish firm is seeking a finance director. “The organisation benefits from a high level of technical expertise and is at the cutting edge of collagen science, continuously striving to improve the performance of existing lines as well as developing new products for the biomedical and edible gels markets.” Cutting edge, collagens, biomedical . . . a biotech start-up? No, “a specialist manufacturer primarily focused on supplying casings to the global meat processing industry”, Devro. It sounds more exciting than: “We make sausage skins.”

The City’s worst-kept secret, the unveiling of Apple’s iPhone in the UK, is confirmed with invitations to a September 18 event in Regent Street. O2 is tipped as network partner, but perhaps Apple should opt instead for Carphone Warehouse. At a recent briefing, Carphone’s chief executive, Charles Dunstone, was doing his best to ingratiate himself with Apple – his home, he said, was full of its products.

A City church is advertising in Bank Tube station to encourage City workers to lunchtime Bible readings with the slogan: “Man can not live by Prêt alone”. The City’s worst-kept secret, the unveiling of Apple’s iPhone in the UK, is confirmed with invitations to a September 18 event in Regent Street. O2 is tipped as network partner, but perhaps Apple should opt instead for Carphone Warehouse. At a recent briefing, Carphone’s chief executive, Charles Dunstone, was doing his best to ingratiate himself with Apple – his home, he said, was full of its products.

Do you have a diary story? city.diary@thetimes.co.uk

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