Tom Whipple
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British jobs for British workers. What kind of depressing, defeatist, snivelling slogan is that? Is that the attitude that painted the world pink? What we need are not British jobs for British workers, but foreign jobs for British workers.
The recession may have global causes but, for those with skills who are prepared to travel, it can also have a global solution.
Under European Union law, people in Britain have just as much right to jobs across the Continent as they do in their own country. Therefore, Surrey sommeliers can serve sangria in Spain; Manchester mechanics can fix bicycles in Belgium. And with the rise in the zloty, perhaps our plumbers can now unblock u-bends in Warsaw.
To help workers, graduates, adventurers or anyone else worried about their employment prospects, we have produced these maps that point out areas in which they could consider looking for work. The first map colour codes the countries of the EU according to the percentage of jobs vacant. Where one sector has a particularly high vacancy rate - almost 8 per cent of estate agent jobs are unfilled in Germany, for instance - then that is also marked.
But the EU is not the only destination. If unremitting tastelessness, 40C heat and a tax-free income is more your style, then you can join the thousands of Britons who have found employment in Dubai.
Or why not take part in what is effectively the world's largest youth exchange programme - to work in bars in Sydney, while the Australian counterparts staff pubs in Earls Court. Outside the EU, of course, bureaucracy and immigration restrictions are a consideration (see our top tips below), but there is still plenty of scope for foreigners in those countries with the lowest unemployment.
This makes Monaco a safe bet (even if its casinos are not), and Zimbabwe a terrible one. Uzbekistan is superficially attractive, with 0.9 per cent unemployment, but any potential émigrés should decide how much they trust the central statistical office of a country about which Amnesty International says “thousands of people routinely alleged that they had been tortured or otherwise ill-treated in order to extract a confession”.
That's why our third map, right, showing British Jobcentre vacancies as a proportion of population, may be more useful. Moving to the North East of England will require a change in diet and dialect, but there are plenty of vacancies.
Nevertheless, if Lord Mandelson was correct when he suggested this week that Britain's striking refinery workers are exhibiting xenophobia, then that condition is tragically misdirected.
Britons should not be shivering on snowy picket lines. We should be taking the fight to the enemy. Just as our ancestors planted flags across Africa and renamed all its waterfalls after British royalty, so we should be sending our teachers to the Baltics, our doctors to the Balkans and our estate agents to Germany. Yes, definitely send the estate agents.
Top tips to locate a foreign job
There are as many immigration procedures as there are countries, and most of those procedures seem angled towards hindrance rather than inducement. The simplest starting point - but by no means a sufficient condition - is to get a job before you go.
Jonathan Reuvid, author of Working Abroad: The Complete Guide to Overseas Employment, says that even for those countries that have good relations with the UK, the next stages can be tough.
“The US is horribly difficult, because of the Green Card. In practice, you are not going to be successful unless you have American employers. It is harder to do business in the US than anywhere else,” he says.
Elsewhere in the English-speaking world, he claims that Canada and Australia are easier - for both you can obtain a visa by proving that you have sufficient assets to support yourself and a business plan for when you get there. In general, countries with ties to the UK are a good bet: either other members of the Commonwealth, or those that have formed agreements with the EU, such as Morocco.
Immigration is not the only difficulty. Many people go abroad without having researched the cultural differences. Those lucky enough to get employment in the US, for instance, are often surprised by the longer hours and shorter holidays. And, as evident in the recent case in which a woman was charged for having sex on a Dubai beach, you cannot behave as if the Middle East is Ibiza.
If it all goes wrong, Rob Lynes, director of the British Council's English teaching programme, has a final tip. “I've come across people in many parts of the world who went out for a job, then lost it and couldn't get a flight back. Always have enough resources to extract yourself.”
Working Abroad is published by Kogan Page, £12.99 www.koganpage.com
Hiring in the UK
Asda: 7,000 jobs
BSkyB: 1,000 jobs
Subway: 7,000 jobs
H&M: 6,000 jobs
Tesco: up to 10,000 jobs
Morrison: 5,000 jobs
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