Michelle Braham
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Some mothers do manage to juggle children and career, but many end up frazzled wrecks. As if taking on (effectively) two jobs wasn’t enough, sometimes the attitude of work colleagues is far from supportive.
When Beth, a legal PA, returned to work, she arranged flexible hours around her children’s school times — but the plan backfired.
“Leaving work at 5pm sharp to collect my twins from their after-school club is seen by my colleagues as an excuse for skiving,” Beth says. “As the only working mum in the company, I am constantly faced with snipes that I’m not pulling my weight. I feel that I have to work doubly hard to prove that I’m not shirking.”
Belinda, a mother of three and office manager, faced such resentment from colleagues over her daily school-run exit that she left her job. “I thought I could manage both worlds but it was impossible,” she says. “I was being dragged into meetings minutes before I needed to leave to collect the children — it was a never-ending battle.”
So what is the solution? Diana Wolfin, an author, career coach and lecturer, is the founder of Changing Direction (www.changingdirection.com; 020-8868 7818), a group dedicated to helping women returnees.
“If the workplace proves hostile to your school-run situation, you have three choices: ask someone else to pick up your children from school, leave work, or ride it out and take an assertive approach by ensuring that bosses and colleagues understand your situation,” she says.
Thankfully, some companies do have parent-friendly policies. Gillian Nissim is the founder of WorkingMums.co.uk, an online service that helps mums return to work.
“No working mother should have to rethink her career choices every time she faces resentment from colleagues,” Gillian says. “The modern workplace should recognise the high level of skills, attitude and experience of working mothers and accommodate them appropriately.” Here are Diana Wolfin’s tips for school-run mums:
- Build up credit at work. See your relationship with your employer as a bank balance. When all is going smoothly, “pay in” with more effort and time so you can make a “withdrawal” when you really need to.
- Work with the highest integrity. Eleanor Roosevelt once said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” You are doing your best, so don’t let yourself feel guilty about collecting your children.
- Stay professional and try not to talk about your children too much.
- Have a support network. In a crisis, know that you can rely on someone to pick up your children.
- Know your rights. Visit www.workingfamilies.org.uk for fact-sheets and up-to-date legal advice.
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